Win Win Win!

A Mahendra fridge magnet to the first person who can tell us who the new cat reading the news is.

a) Gus
b) McFarlane

Wow! JC...

Indeed, I know Mahendra is the main man but JC stole the limelight tonight. This photograph does not do his tie justice, but let it be noted that his coal black jacket, white shirt and kinda silver white tie with pomegranate diagonal stripes was the picture of a gentleman. If a man showed up on my doorstep for a date dressed like that he could be sure to be invited in for a little Di and Charles.

Alas it is not all gushing. I thought the tie might have been a tad wide but could not be sure as it did not matter how I maneuvered myself around the television, I could not get a proper frontal view of the man - JC, give us a full frontal! And remember the cuffs, we want to see them.


Mahendra is not to be forgotten. He was wearing a Sunshine D yellow tie (or was it gold? Let's say Paris Daisy) on a Mystic shirt (play around till you get it).

I could not tell if the tie had a subtle pattern, I suspect that it did and that my old television did not do it justice. The Raghunath was in top form and rather jolly. Pen in hand he bid us farewell with a "Hope you have a lovely evening. Good night." I was planning to do just that when Top Billing sashayed into my lounge. Oh, how do I despise? Let me count the ways. For starters, I would rather be eating worms...

All quiet on the southern front

Yep, for weeks now I am at a loss at 7 p.m. Without a television, my nights are not entirely empty - I've got books, you know - but they are quiet. No news, no Mahendra, no Johendra. There is no Tsepiso, no newsbie perhaps. No longer is my screen suddenly dominated by an ill-chosen necklace that could have been a chandelier at a shabby-chic, quasi-Eastern-European tearoom. There are no longer the ties that bind Mahendra to me.

No, it's all bookish. With my chicken mayonnaise sandwich in one hand, book in other, I try and forget what I am missing. But so it will happen that I hear the faint but unmistakeable sound of a television next door. I strain my ears, even perhaps lean against the wall - no, I get a glass and use it as a stethoscope, but no luck. I cannot hear much.

Is it Mahendra I cannot hear? What is he wearing? By God, what is he wearing? Will someone just tell me...

All I can do is scroll through my few folders of old pictures of the Raghunath.

What does the M's tie have in common with Cape Town Restaurants?

After a weekend of good dining and feeling a little tired of Cape Town's faux summer I decided to peruse some restaurant menus on the web (really inspired by the "Dine 2008...where to dine" booklet).

I heard an old familiar voice emanating from my telly and spun around in my blue chair to come face to face with a blue knot, a super sized samoosa obscuring everything on the telly screen. Trying to find Mahendra behind the tie I realised with chilling insight that the Raghunath's tie knot was as inflated as 99% of the restaurant prices in Cape Town!

Ever so slightly horrified and in protest to make up for this weekend's excesses I will cook at home next weekend. Trying to find a balance I will invite RK and other gentleman attendees to dress in suitable attire, that is, ties knotted in such a fashion that I can see their pretty faces.

[Note: Despite the byline, this post was not entered by RK, but by AT]

The bearded one

Saturday, some chilli con carne bubbling on the stove, a lazy day at an end. Well, only got to bed at six this morning, after dinner at a decent Italian jobbie where the chef had no problem with me asking to convert the arrabbiata into puttanesca. Yum. My companion's artichoke and ricotta panzotti in sage butter was delicate in flavour, but quite rich.

Well, long after-dinner conversations fueled by some special whisky, swiss chocolate and cigarettes heralded the dawn. So, late day, some take-out for midday breakfast and here we are.



While I have had access to a tv, I have not spotted the Raghunath; but I have spotted much of the bearded one, on his way to another century no doubt. I must ask: what's up with the beard bro?


Is it to provide protection? To prevent the chin-strap from chafing at the chin? He looks so unbalanced, what with the bald pate and the afro under the chin - as if he might be upside down.

Shave it bru!

Friends, Raghunathians and Mahendrians...

while you thought I had grown lazy, nothing can be further from the truth. While I was away on the International Space Station, researching the effects of zero gravity on knotting ties, rogues took off with my audio-visual equipment, thus robbing me of a vital resource in reporting on the Raghunath. Thus the dearth in posts over the past few months as I spent the time in despair, robbed of the voice of the Raghunath and his spectacular ties.

I scroll through the archive on the blog, gazing longingly at pictures of the special one.

What is to be done!?

Thursday the 23rd August - Youthful spring look measured with old-fashioned accents.

No doubt Mahendra’s TV appearance and shout out to the blog still remains a highlight and is hard to surpass, but hopefully the ensuing anti-climax will be forgotten in the cool, fresh, sweet wind of spring.

Tsepiso was blossoming on our sets on the 23rd of August (please excuse the late posting I'm still figuring this out and i felt her outfit simply had to be noted) – the “spring is in the air” feel of the stem-green jacket, (which was mysteriously baggy around the elbows) complemented by the glowing flower necklace. An interesting diagonal tension was created by the asymmetry of the flower on the string, and the angled glance she keeps– revealing only half of her feminine, gently waved hairstyle. This dynamic tension brought to mind the flexible spring of a young green shoot, however, rather than a brittle, old, dry stick about to snap. The lace lining the top of the cream shirt was not a bad idea, however this off-white camisole could have been found in some box in the attic, accompanied by a couple of stained, old photos, a bunch of letters tied with a ribbon and a mysterious sporting trophy.

If you’re going to freshen up the heated newsroom in time for spring, let’s leave the vintage look at home, where it’s cold, because no one has central heating. Um, now can anyone tell me what was actually ON the news? Tsepiso’s blinging flower and purple eye shadow distracted me.

Mouthwatering Mahendra

Jammer mense, some of us had been away eating oysters instead of watching Mahendra reporting on people eating oysters. I can now tell you about the French Oyster, Namibian Oyster and Knysna Oyster. None of them should be avoided. ‘Smul Voort’ is die lese, don’t hesitate. And while he was seemingly casual in reading the news about the Knysna Oyster Festival you could tell that the Ragunath was ready to trade his cufflinks for an oyster or two.

Mahendra looked like dessert last night in a Mocha shirt and Chocolate tie, beautifully served in a charcoal grey suit. The full flavour of the Chocolate Spring Roll and Honeycomb Ice Cream (the best damn ice cream I have ever had) RK and I devoured at the Cruise Café returned to me in force. My mouth watered. Mahendra looked delicious.

But going back in time before all this happened - I noticed that our man was not on the Weakest Wink’s panel of celebs last Saturday. My research tells me that he has never participated. What is up with this Fiona? Afraid of being upstaged?

A a stripy affair

Last night Mahendra wore a tie of purple, white, and pink stripes. It was complemented by a pastel pink shirt, and his trusty navy suit. His hair was immaculate as usual - not a strand out of place.

However, I detected a certain hesitancy in his manner during his usual parting quip: "And that's a wrap for the English news [lengthy pause] tonight!"

Am glad the Raghunath managed to end off with that bright "tonight". Who knows if the sun will rise tomorrow, but at least the news on SABC 3 is a certainty, even if we don't know who'll be reading it...

Btw, missed the news on Tuesday night, but heard Mahendra was wearing a shocker of a tie. Please do add a comment if you happened to spot it.

Missing that Mahendra magic

Have been watching the news sporadically recently. Nothing seemes to hold my attention: there was Joanne's cleavage on Saturday, and Tsepiso's purple-striped shirt this evening, but I'm missing that Mahendra magic. I wonder when his next outing will be?

A couple of other musings: where, oh where is the newsbie, was she really only temporary? Also, I'm very much looking forward to CM's virgin posting (no pressure).

The Mahendra Simulacrum/ Simulacra of Riaan: or, how the machine makes many of us

So, in an idle moment during the news of last night* - i.e. when they show footage and not Mahendra - I switched to Channel 2 and, by god, there was Riaan going all stripy and channelling near-revolutionary waves: charcoal chalk-stripe jacket, white shirt and stripy tie. I identified pink, light blue, powder blue, orange, white and dark grey stripes. It's a tie you wear when you want to be colourful without being uitspattig, gauche. But, overall, the tie gave off a mauve hue. Sinister...

I do think, however, that Mahendra should have a chat with Riaan. I like Riaan's modestly sized knots, the ideal samoosa-knot** of my youth, an equilateral triangle, an equiangular polygon. Welcome to the machine.

Extra special bonus!

I think it's high time we introduce our super new, non-interactive, strike-busting category, in a pitch high enough to send cats running scared: the Moleketi Moment. Last night, our Minister of Public Service and Administration*** whined on about how badly behaved public service strikers have been (the bad apples example raised to general moral outrage) and how this behaviour had been the worst ever in SA history. !

* See TM's entry below.
** See 'Black, Buttermilk, Salmon' for a brief disquisition on the samoosa-knot.
*** I remember a period at university where Public Administration was seen as a soft option, especially by students who would be struggling against academic exclusion because they didn't pass History, Politics and/or Sociology.

Of ties, teaspoons and slide guitar

Tonight the Raghunath was sporting a pale pink shirt, and the very same tie he wore for his Top Billing shoot: pink with criss-crossing purple and white stripes. Shame, perhaps he is nostalgic for his 15 minutes of fame (more like three minutes, really!) on a magazine programme, but don't worry Mahendra, you still have your regular news-watching fans to keep you company (albeit of a virtual kind).

What I really want to know is when he'll wear his favourite red tie. Mahendra, if you're reading this, please humour us and wear it soon!

I am guilty of not always watching until the end of the news, but tonight I was glad I sat through it all, even the sport. The quirky "human interest" insert at the end was about a certain Hannes Coetzee, who has mastered the unlikely art of playing side guitar with a teaspoon. Check it out on Youtube.

This seemed to tickle The Raghunath's fancy, and he left us with the immortal line: "I s'pose you could call it 'spoonerism'". Hmmm, not really, but perhaps I'm just being a linguistic pedant?

Oh so sombre Mahendra

It was a beautiful day in Cape Town. The sun shone and people went about in t-shirts and shorts. I was in a black mood because I was stuck indoors with the flu. The only thing I had to look forward to to cheer me up was Mahendra.

Alas, it was not to be. He looked suitably sombre in grey and black kicking off the news with the grim Taliep Peterson story. My mood sank. I thought he was going to burst out in tears dragging me along with him.

The news did not get better with no reprieve in the sports section - banning the Springboks (?), Wimbledon (maybe) raining out. Sigh. He managed a smile on bidding us adieu but it was too little too late to save the day.

And then Simon appeared in a white tie, light grey(?) shirt and pitch black jacket. It felt to me like the whole country was crying with me.

The full reach of an icon

Icons, as they grow, typically present with the potential for conspiracy. Notice, for instance, the widespread myths that Riaan Cruywagen is either Chuck Norris, better than Chuck Norris, Norris' father, or (and therefore?) an alien entity.

To nip any such potential nonsense concerning Mahendra in the bud, I here present a list of things completely unconnected to our Mahendra:

1. Dashing as our Mahendra may be (sometimes - see racing pics below), he is not an aggressive right-handed batsmen and wicket-keeper for India. That cricketer is Mahendra Singh Doni, but you can call him 'Mahi' (What's with the hair though?).

2. He is not a film-maker named Balu Mahendra (a.k.a. Benjamin Mahendra).

3. Our Mahendra is definitely not to be confused with Mahendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev (1920-1972), reborn or otherwise. He is therefore not the deceased King of Nepal, known as Mahendra of Nepal, British Field Marshal.

4. We have seen no evidence that our Mahendra is linked to Mahindra & Mahindra Ltd. The latter is part of the Mahindra Group and manufactures cars, available, as you can see, also in South Africa. They are also the sponsors of Mahindra United, a football team in India for which our Mahendra is not a holding midfielder.

I call on all Mahendra watchers to also keep an eye out for any such potential conspiracies and make a note of them through comments on the blog (Note also the variants of the name).

Miranda's adjectives

Tonight Ms Makwetla was wearing a light gold shirt that was way too shiny. Over it she wore a jacket of a plummy brown tone.

Overall, the effect was dull and uninspired, despite the glitz factor she attempted to introduce with the shirt.

It was left to Miranda Strydom, reporting on the AU summit, to provide me with a laugh, which she did when she mentioned a certain 'gradualistic approach'. Correcting people's grammar is one of my faults (and I do try so hard not to, except in my job, which requires me to do so) but I couldn't help it when a suppressed smile gradualistically rose to my lips.

[Note: People, sartorial vicissitudes seem to be reaching unimaginable proportions on SABC. Did anyone watch Talk with Noeleen? Whassup with Noeleen Maholwana-Sangqu's sense of dress? A black dress with oodles of white o's in various sizes? I think someone should start a subsidiary blog called Oodles of O's with Noeleen. That'll learn them... There's also the issue of her hair. - Ed.]

Postscript

So I spotted Mahendra again on Top Billing yesterday, and was struck by two points that had hitherto escaped my attention:

1. Apparently The Raghunath is "co-authouring a book on black African dramatists". In all seriousness, I can't wait to have a read. I wonder when it will be published and, also, who the co-author is?

2. His hair. I must say I found Mahendra's helmut hair after his race much more becoming than the usual '50s do he favours for his newsreading alter ego. I think his stylist needs to expand his repertoire.

And, on the matter of hair, how very fitting that the Raghunath featured on the very same Top Billing episode that also covered the most recent South African revival of the eponymous musical.

Which brings to mind the lyrics of the song, 'My Conviction'; please humour me in quoting most of them verbatim:

I would just like to say that it is my conviction
That longer hair and other flamboyant affectations
Of appearance are nothing more
Than the male's emergence from his drab camoflage
Into the gaudy plumage
Which is the birthright of his sex

There is a peculiar notion that elegant plumage
And fine feathers are not proper for the male
When ac---tually
That is the way things are
In most species

'Flamboyant affectations'?! I'm convinced that Mahendra must have been an ardent Hair fan in his wild student days, and has taken this advice to heart, or rather, to tie.

Where in the world was Joanne?

Joanne clearly has some shifts to make up after her extended vacation, as she was on again tonight.

I wasn't quite sure about the overall affect of her outfit. A blue jacket, fairly standard, but underneath she wore what looked pretty much like a vest. In fact, it looked like the sort of vest that is the top half of thermal underwear. Perhaps she was more adventurous than we supposed, and went to Antarctica for her holiday?

This hypothesis was, however, undermined by her necklace. She wore one of those jobbies that is a simple necklace, but with strings of other beads hanging down from the main circle in strands (I'm sure our jeweller can supply us with a more technical term?). The beads themselves were vaguely circular, and of golden and bronze hue.

Actually, the necklace seemed very Cleopatra. Which begs the question: where Joanne go on holiday? Perhaps a world tour?

The sad meeting of the chandelier and the frumpy

Joanne is back from, my guess, holiday. It must have been a good one since her hair was still dishevelled from the experience.

I think she might have been in Europe since she wore something that resembled a Victorian chandelier around her neck. I suspect not a bad piece of jewellery if accompanied by a simple black number with a plunging neckline in a restaurant where you can order something called Cuisses de Grenouilles, Provençale.

Joanne, however, wore it with a singed orange jacket and a frumpy black shirt. On spying this I felt like a soufflé that had been taken out of the oven too soon.

Don’t get me wrong, the jacket was great. It had a lovely collar and fitted her well. Even on my old television the colour looked good picking up on the highlights in her hair. If only she did not opt for the dreaded costume jewellery.

And where was Mahendra? My guess is eating frog legs somewhere celebrating (or not?) Ferrari's win in France.

Putting you in the picture

"Tumisho Masha interrupts Mahendra and he does one of those over-dramatised scary faces they learn you at drama school." RK









Raghunath does some gangster fingerpointing at the camera, showing off his rebellious schoolboy side:

"Ja, see you lader."











Mahendra on his favourite tie:

"[]...generally I wear it with a blue shirt, or a light, ya know, creamy coloured shirt, and it gives you that very neat professional look."









On the blog:

"[]...somebody is very dedicated...I hope they continue to do so."







Mahendra, looking nearly as handsome as Alonso after a win, on whether he might become a F1 driver:
"It's been exciting, it's been wonderful, it's been a fabulous day...you never know where the road might end."








"[]...the only thing whiter and wider than the painted pole position Mahendra's car took on the grid was the grin it brought to his face." TM (that is Tumi, not our TM)








Hey RK, maybe we can convince Mahendra to petition the SABC to screen F1 again - for us poor fans who do not have DSTV.

Nevertheless, modern socialism shall blunt the blade of evil.

Those of you with a penchant for spotting the non sequitur in South African performance poetry will recognise the title of this post: it is by none other than South Africa's de/famed 'People's Poet', Mzwakhe Mbuli. Now what, you will ask, has this got to do with Mahendra? Is it a matter of 'Triple M', a la another Mbuli poem, this time Mansell, Michael, Mzwakhe?

Last night, when TM called me, she reminded me also of the Raghunath's interest in the People's Poet, as discussed in the delightful investigation into Mahendra's fridge by Tashi of Tashitagg fame (and also mentioned in the early days of this blog, I might point out for the benefit of rival Facebook Mahendra groups).

Egads! I thought, I had completely forgotten about Mahendra's thesis on Mbuli (in 2004 still unfinished - is it finished now?). And, zounds! I thought, the Raghunath shares, in addition to Scotch and F1 racing, another of my interests. If the Raghunath will deign to contact us - as he does do with other sites - we will point him to some good, critical sources on Mzwakhe.

Mahendra Schumacher Raghunath

Yes, that's right. As TM pointed out in the previous post, Top Billing last night had an insert on Mahendra's racing talents (Please vote for Mahendra as your favourite insert; the poll is low on the left-hand column on the Top Billing site). Although Mahendra's Ties was not named, the blog received a Shout Out from the Raghunath himself. When Top Billing presenter Tumisho Masha mentioned that there was even a blog documenting his ties, the racing newsreader responded only half-coyly: "I believe so... And I hope they continue to do so."

I believe so! As if to imply that he has 'heard' of the blog and that he does not read it. Mahendra, we know you are an avid reader of this blog!

There I was, getting some supper ready when TM called: "Mahendra's gonna be on Top Billing!"

"What? You can't be serious!" I shouted. But my journalistic instincts kicked in: "How do you know?"

I ask this because I rarely know when what will be on shows like Top Billing. Actually, I don't watch Top Billing. Those damn uitspattige clothes they wear on that show! I mean, really, who dresses like this for their job? Yeah, yeah, they'll say that Top Billing is special, a privilege, all that no-hope New Age good feeling, but really, if you have to dress like that to feel special then there's something wrong... Have you seen those puffy dresses Ursula Stapelfeldt wears?

What I'd really like to know is when Mahendra will read the news; a schedule of his readings will really help my bouts of disappointment when I switch to the News on 3 and find no Raghunath. So, Mahendra, if you're reading this, why not drop us a line with your schedule, which we can advertise on the blog. Even better, drop us a line and we make you a writer on this blog. Then you can tell us what you're wearing and why.

Erm, where was I? Yes, I asked TM how she knew and she said her sister, also an avid Mahendra spotter, was watching Top Billing and called her with the news. I turned on the telly and pressed REC on the VCR. There he was! in his grey jacket and pink tie! Doing a newscast.

But it was a spoof as Top Billing's Tumisho Masha then interrupts him and Mahendra does one of those over-dramatised scary faces they learn you at drama school. Tumi (Mahendra called him Tumi) then says they have to go to the racetrack and the Raghunath does some gangster fingerpointing at the camera, showing off his rebellious schoolboy side: "We're outta here."

Before they dash off to Kyalami, though, they talk some ties and we get a shot of a dressing screen hung full - goddamn! - with Raghunath ties. That is when Tumi mentions Mahendra's tie fetish, calling the man a "national style icon"; there's even a blog dedicated to his ties. I think both Tumi and Mahendy need to read the blog more carefully - as the subtitle indicates, the blog is concerned with his "sartorial vicissitudes". That is, the blog is a sympathetic critique rather than a drunken celebration.

But I digress again.

"What's your favourite tie?" asks Tumi. Mahey picks a red one with bands of understated white paisley (I think). The Raghunath's eyes glaze over as he says how he likes the way the tie "reads" on camera. HYPNOTIC! Believers in Riaan Cruywagen's alien hypnotic abilities should watch this. Just as Mahendra was in pursuit of Nigel Mansell's Kyalami lap record, the Raghunath will soon be the hypnotic newsreader par excellence on South African television.

A friend of mine holds the theory that wearing vertically striped clothing - shirts especially - induces a revolutionary-friendly feeling in others. Perhaps Mahendra's ties do the same and soon we will have revolutionary-friendly feelings spreading across the land. COSATU certainly needs it.

I get ahead of myself.

So, off to Kyalami where Mahendra and Tumi joked around like little boys. And they talked about the Raghunath's interest in motor racing, going back to the days of Ayerton Senna, when our newsreader was still a schoolboy, getting up early in the morning to watch those faraway races.

Mahendra first did some laps in a Formula 3 car, then it was on to the B193, a 1993 Benetton F1, apparently the actual car driven by none other than Michael Scumacher, a well-dressed man when he is not in racing gear.

How can one not like the Raghunath more? So he does a Schumi and, according to Tumi, after four laps Mahendra was very close to beating Nigel Mansell's Kyalami lap record. And, as Tumi and Mahendy walk down pitlane, discussing career choices and whether Mahendra ever wishes to change to racing, the Raghunath once again gets that faraway look in his eyes: "One never knows where the road might end..."

Hypnotic! I tell you.

Mahendra gets top billing!

I don't really watch much television, aside of course for the news. But this evening, just after I'd flicked the set off, I received a phone call from a very excited fellow Mahendra spotter.

"Mahendra's going to be on Top Billing tonight," she said. After phoning various other Mahendra addicts, I had a moment or two to calm down, and there he was, not Mahendra the newsreader, but Mahendra the racer! He truly is a man of many facets.

I'm sure you're all dying to know details, but I think the full posting belongs to RK, the creative genius behind the blog.

For now, a quiz. Is the dominant colour in Mahendra's favourite tie:
a. orange,
b. red,
c. gold, or
d. all of the above?

As a final note, am thrilled that Top Billing has picked up on the Mahendra's Ties phenomenon. But to give credit where credit is due, this is not the first press the blog has received - The Cape S*n entertainment pages ran the story a couple of weeks ago. Will post a copy of the article as soon as I stop being slack and get round to scanning it in.

A spotted Tsepiso

Apologies for lack of recent updates: been out and about this week, which had me landed in bed today with a nasty stomach bug. Just before before seven, I dragged myself from bedroom to lounge, determined to undertake at least one productive action in an otherwise lacklustre day.

I was greeted by Tsepiso, dressed in a lilac jacket with '80s shoulder pads. Her fascination with pastels, in winter nogal, never ceases to amaze me.

Underneath she wore a top, the material of which was densely covered with black-and-white spots. For the life of me I couldn't tell whether it was a black top, with white spots, or a white top, with black spots.

JC presented the weather, his plaid scarf a dead giveaway that another cold front is on its way. Brrr! His tie was a jaunty red, and decorated with white spots, perhaps in homage to the Raghunath?

Mahendra confuses his seasons

I have a suspicion I may miss the news tonight, so let me quickly fill you in on yesterday's broadcast, so no one can accuse me of shirking my duties.

Mahendra was in top form. His red tie was seemingly tame, if fairly bright. But that was before I noticed the little white diamond motifs that graced said tie.

And then I realised: it was a Christmas cracker of a tie. Sorry mate, wrong season...

He wore a white shirt underneath. I couldn't tell if it boasted minute white ruffles (unlikely?) or if the contrast was created by fine off-white stripes. Forgive me, high-definition television hasn't made it to my house yet. In fact, my television is the very definition of extremely low definition, if you know what I mean.

Who is the newsbie?

Tonight, as per usual, I missed the beginning of the news. And what a grave error this turned out to be.

No Mahendra. No Tsepiso. No Joanne.

But instead, there was a bright young thing, cute as a button, and I wondered if perhaps she'd wandered into the news studio by mistake, on her way to a casting for Generations. Obviously highly implausible that Generations would be casting at seven on a Sunday evening, but I can think of no other explanation.

However, because of my general tardiness, I have no idea as to her name. Could any readers possibly enlighten me? Until I know her preferred moniker, I shall simply refer to her as 'the newbie', or rather, 'the newsbie'.

The newsbie was wearing a jacket that seemed a reddish-pink to me, although a fellow Mahendra watcher preferred to describe it as a dark coral. Underneath was an aubergine shirt. I am still undecided as to whether I like the colour combination, but have to give her full marks for a bold beginning to her newsreading career.

The collar of her shirt was somewhat sheepishly hidden beneath her jacket, and I couldn't tell whether this was evidence of a latent shy streak in her personality or was in fact an audacious comment on Tsepiso's collar debacle of last night.

The other question that must be considered is whose place the newsbie has usurped. My money would be on Joanne's, as she has been awfully scarce of late.

I await the bulletins this week with great anticipation. In fact, nothing on the news has interested me quite so much since the last time Mahendra paid homage to the Northern Lights.

PS - Also, I forgot, the newsbie's hair was in corn rows. Very trendy for a newsreader. Perhaps, if we are lucky, she shall change hairstyles as often as the Raghunath changes ties?

Back-to-school blues

In between various weekend engagements, I remembered to flick on the television early Saturday evening. Alas, I was disappointed, for the Raghunath was not reading, and instead I was presented with Ms Makwetla, who seemed to be attempting to revisit her school days.

Her light blue, open-collar shirt sat oddly, as the large collar simply enveloped the jacket (or should I say ' blazer?) that she wore over it. I thought the string of beads she wore was pretty and delicate, but they did nothing to save viewers from the ghastly shirt. Altogether the effect was messy, insecure, and unkempt: Tsepiso would not have received the deportment badge if she'd attended my school.

In my opinion, she'd be advised to follow Mahendra's example, and wear a tie next time she opts for a shirt with a collar.

Butternut soup on the menu again?

Although it's taken me a while to update my readers, I'll have you know last Friday night I managed to catch Mahendra repeating his tie, as he does on occasion.

The repetition had its educational value: previously I had classified this tie as cucurbita moschata, or butternut if you will, but on a friend's television screen, the tie had lost all its vibrancy, and looked but a pale version of its former self.

Considering I caught the news straight after going for a reiki treatment I was very much aware that orange is supposed to be a colour simply bursting with energy, but this particular tie seemed to be draining Mr Raghunath's natural confidence. His face looked wan and sallow, and his elocution was not up to standard, as his tongue tripped over 'the minister of m... m... minerals and energy...'. I am beginning to wonder if he needs work on some of his chakras?

The identity-crisis tie

Only spotted Mahendra briefly last night, as was on my way out...

His tie was a winner though. It featured:
1. broad grey and maroon stripes,
2. a medium-sized gold (his new favourite colour?) stripe, and
3. thin white stripes.

But then there was also a single, lonely, thin white stripe crossing over the other stripes. Check out the picture to see what I mean. All in all, the tie seemed to be making a woefully inadequate attempt at going plaid.

The Egoli of ties

The camera does not do it justice but believe me, this tie blazed a soft gold.

Mahendra Egoli Raghunath

Mahendra was wearing a new tie - a creature I have not spied before. It shone. The knot was proud, big and proud. Egoli came to mind... man... the gold shimmered. Certainly not Isidingo 'The Need'. If the big M needed anything it might have been a little restraint. Tad lavish for the news - I thought I hit on a new wedding channel. I might even venture so far as to speculate that RK's sensibilities, as far as these things are concerned, might have been...well, aroused, if not offended. It was however considerably better than what he wore last night. Good god, I think it was khaki and red. I had instant stywe lippies and fled to the kitchen. The less said the better. Now it is way past my bedtime. Pictures to follow soon.

Sorbet Tsepiso

Scuse the lack of posts recently - the weekend was all about books and balkan beats, with precious little time for TV.

Did manage to catch Tsepiso last night though, dressed in a melon sorbet confection: a light-green jacket and matching top. It also looked like there were two of her, although that was due to my friend's dodgy TV rather than quantity of wine I drank at book launch - I only had one glass, I swear...

Nothing else to report - missed the news tonight as was on deadline. Could any readers enlighten me as to whom was on, and what was their atti(e)re?

Tsepiso caught napping

Irene Bester was the continuity presenter before the news.

I've always wondered where she picked up that hideous Australian accent; am no closer to solving this mystery, but she clearly received the equally hideous ribbed, lime-green, V-neck top and side-parting hairdo in the same bargain lot. Who would've thought Kath & Kim have South African competition?

And what was that large golden disk strung up from her neck? "An attempt at new age bling," was a fellow Mahendra-spotters attemtpt to make sense of it.

Tsepiso was softer tonight. The stern hairpiece of yesterday's broadcast was replaced with a more relaxed effect, and even her eyebrows seemed friendlier. Not quite 'out of bed' hair, but the rest of her appearance hinted that she'd been awoken from an early evening power nap.

Her pastel pink jacket was cut very generously, particularly in the sleeves, which were rather baggy and gave the jacket the air of a pyjama top. And the baby blue top she wore underneath did nothing to dispel the general feeling that she'd been caught in her sleepwear.

Newsreaders of the world: wake up!

A touch too glossy?

Tonight Tsepiso was wearing a grey pinstripe jacket with a masculine cut. I can just tell she's going to be wearing a tie soon: Mahendra's influence is pervasive (and persuasive).

Admittedly, underneath said jacket she was wearing a rather feminine camisole (white lace), so I could be wrong.

Her outfit was completed with a double strand of silver-grey beads, possibly haematite, although I am not that up on my semi-precious stones, so who knows. What I do know, is that she wore matching earrings. Bet you were wondering about that one...

A last reflection for tonight: Tsepiso's lipstick (or was it lip gloss?) struck me as exceedingly shiny. More nightclub than news, I thought. What do you think?

Chronicles of the divided loyalties of a SABC3 newswatcher

My, my, my, but wasn't she radiant tonight. Ms. Makwetla just beamed into my lounge all smiles and bushy-tailed and bright and all. Little technical glitches were side-stepped with aplomb and my dear Tsepiso just kept on smiling and reading, reading and smiling. And she lit up with several more megawatts as she introduced the story of the 2010 countdown clock at OR International - so bright was she that I was surprised that there was no 'outtage'.

Her verve did much to distract me from her sartorial vicissitudes, which continue unabated, much like the continuous cold fronts rolling like mass action across the Cape, or Paris Hilton's long dark and cold prison term. A dark jacket with a tinge of rust was fine and smart, but a necklace with large amber-coloured beads, and a darn blouse that looks like pajamas, with a little string tie... That just didn't do it for me, and while the sparkle of her reporting might be said to rival the Raghunath's, it must be noted that she nervously tugged at a pen by far not as elegant as the one twirled by the latter while saying goodbye.

It is cold. Stay in and stay warm.

The Humbug Returns

Mahendra went humbug tonight in his dark jacket with the crimson buttonhole. If I am correct this is the third appearance of that tie since the inception of this blog. It went beautifully with his black and gold pen (is it a Mont Blanc?) that he caresses so fondly while reading the news.

I had a flashback to his merry goodbye that I forgot to report on on Saturday night. "Have a marvellous weekend", he said. I duly obliged.

Hennin beats an anxious Hanna, or some such

Mahendra in a charcoal grey suit and an Orinoco's superb orchid tie. Was it a white shirt? My memory fails me.

What I do remember is RK saying Fiona Coyne has the weakest wink - just then the news broke that there is an eight hour hostage drama unfolding at some unnamed Long Street Restaurant. Our sources tell us that it may be at Nyoni's Kraal. Looking at the motif on Mahendra's tie, I would not have been surprised if he was on his way there after he read the news. Thank god he was privy to that piece of information. Now to brave the torrential rains and Arctic winds that have been battering Cape Town on our way to our best kept secret.

No dark sarcasm in the classroom...

all in all you're just another thread in the tie. Sorry.

Last night I faced the full majesty of the Aurora Borealis, although differences of opinion exist as to whether it contains red, whether it ever contained red, and why is there an entry with the keyword but a tie with red? We don't have an earlier pic of this, the original, aurora tie, but the first post about the northern lights contains no reference to red.

That is because, dear reader, sometimes it has some red in it, and sometimes it doesn't. That is the nature of the northern lights - it's not the same for everyone...

The chaff and the wheat

Mahendra's Ties has a face: The Mahendra Tie Watch Project. This is the wheat.

There's a second group, the chaff, which has pinched a picture from this blog, with no acknowledgement. I won't link to them.

Fish Truck falls over, Tsepiso of the big beads and welcomes

Well now, what in Mourinho's name are those big fat baby-blue beads doing around Tsepiso's neck. Nee, regtig, man!

And motorists in Cape Town today had to avoid fish on the freeway after a truck full of these pesky pisces overturned.

A warm welcome to readers from all over, from Hana (Maui) to New York, Americana (Brazil) to Kingston (Jamaica) to Calgary, Edmonton and Prince Albert in Canada. Iceland is here (Kopavogur), folks from the Iberian Peninsula, from London to Dublin, Western Europe (Leipzig and Leer in Germany, Amsterdam in the Netherlands), the Scandinavian Peninsula. Upington in the Northern Cape has joined, Perth, Kuala Lumpur, Makati (Japan). Raise your hands and say hello.

A Possy of Newsreaders

Mahendra was in top form last night. But RK told you all about that.

Tonight I sat down in front of the telly a little earlier than usual, De Waal Drive effectively being blocked by a load of fish dumped by a truck not allowing anyone to go anywhere. I spotted some other newsreaders. It was an interesting experience filled with feelings of consternation, amusement, disbelief, admiration and a host of other conflicting emotions. Unfortunately I did not get their names but I thought that I should share with you anyway. See for yourself.

MAHUNGU, SABC 2, presented me with a large gentleman in a jacket with a very small collar, very small on such a large man, and such an array of diagonal and pin stripes my head is still spinning. Unfortunately his hands were hidden by the enormous banner at the bottom of the television so I could not see his cuffs. His counterpart, however, did not need a banner.

IINDABA, SABC 1, was read by a man who is not well represented in this photograph because his tie and jersey were not white, as it appears, but pink! It was a bright pink. I squirmed in my seat. The stripes on the shirt collar were white. I was not sure what to make of that. His cuffs were hidden so far away I had to wonder if the shirt even had sleeves.



Tsepiso (at 7) looked positively radiant from the neck up. Unfortunately she was wearing a bunch of hideous blue/aquamarine/turquoise balls around her neck. I think it was supposed to be a necklace. Someone should relieve Auckland Park of their costume jewellery selection.



And then, at 8.30pm and to my delight I heard Mahendra's voice from the void giving us the news in 60 seconds. He said good bye with such charm and such a radiant smile that it made Cape Town feel a little warmer and I completely forgot about the fish.

Mahendra all the way with the sixth-seeded Serbian, as strike continues

That is correct. (Oh my god, did Mahendra just say 'clamour change' instead of 'climate change'?)

Anyway, back to Mahendra. It wasn't live. AT and I thought we'd be hip and go to the Hipper opening. Two other hip Mahendra Project members were spotted there.

The gallery was, erm, white, very white, and the Hipper stuff uses lots of grey. It was as bright as a summer's day in there. Not quite Mahendra now, is it?

Thank god then for VCRs - Mahendra was on form and 'immaculate' (quoting AT) in navy blue jacket, light blue shirt, another presidential tie (navy, check the pics) and even some cufflinks. This is now the third consecutive appearance of our man in Auckland Park. Could it be that Joanne and Tsepiso are on strike? Are they civil servants?

Mahendra must be applauded, also, for managing himself well over several sibilant seconds during the sports news:


"...the sixth..."


"...seeded..."










"...Serbian,..."


"...Novak Djokovic..."








Was Mahendra ever proud for negotiating that! Indeed, he is one of the few people who still say 'sicksth' and not 'sickth'.

And then it was Good Night, and Good Luck...

The Visual

Butternut soup with cream

What was it about Mahendra's tie tonight? It was, dare I say it, subtle. Well almost.

The tie was a light orange - lets call it butternut - and its stripes were of a different texture, while remaining the same colour. It had the unfortunate tendency of making his shirt appear cream, but then, a dash of cream in butternut soup can be delicious, if fattening.

Mahendra was not the only object of fascination tonight though... During an insert showing Tony Blair, I observed that the British PM's tie was nowhere in sight. The shot was cut off abruptly, just under his chin, and I had to wait until the last few seconds of his interview to catch even a glimpse of his tie. (It could have been red and blue, but don't count on it - this is not a tip for the quiz).

What was up with the dodgy camera work? Did Tony issue the television crew with specific instructions to shield his tie? Is he trying to hide from our scrutiny?

Next up was the erstwhile JC Engelbrecht, dressed in a reddish tie (with a modest knot), a navy sweater, and a plaid scarf jauntily flung over his shoulders. When he announced the third cold front that will be hitting later this week, he won my sympathy for the scarf.

The first ever Mahendra's Ties quiz (apologies)

(My apologies if anyone perhaps had trouble with pop-ups or ads with the previous quiz format. I have deleted the link and will do better research for future automated quizzes.)


Question: Who is wearing this tie?



Answer:
a) Thabo Mbkei
b) Mahendra Raghunath
c) George W. Bush
d) Tony Blair


Note: Answer each question in a separate blue book.

Mahendra's shirts

Suspicions confirmed then. I did entertain the idea that it was my low tech television set that was not doing his tie justice, but clearly the hardware is blameless.

And that contrast collar shirt! I always thought that type of shirt to be the epitome of bad taste and that only 40+ year old men whose fashion sense got stuck in the eighties wore them…oh yes, and middle aged academics. Mahendra clearly being none of the former we will have to take Will’s word for it - Madendra is not insecure.

The tie that died

Shortly before the news, I spotted Graeme Richards, sporting a golden brown waistcoat with matching tie, and a burgundy shirt. Almost dapper, old fellow, but dapper doesn't cut it in today's modern world.

On to the main event: yes, Mahendra was on duty tonight. But what had happened to his tie? The bold stripes of his former ties had disappeared, all but merged into his shirt...

Let me start from the beginning.

Grey suit. Actually, I quite like that grey suit, it's better than his navy one, so no problem there.

Pink shirt. Pink, even pale pink, does seem slightly frivolous for the news, but I was willing to give Mr Raghunath the benefit of the doubt. After all, it takes a guy with a certain amount of confidence to wear a pink shirt.

But pink shirt - with a white collar?! I thought the clothing industry only made blue shirts with white collars, and then merely to meet the sartorial requirements of motivational speakers (or presidents - ed). Heaven knows where Mahendra dredged up this pink specimen.

The tie. It was white, with pale pink stripes and also, pale red stripes. This sad little tie, seemingly designed to be worn when sipping cocktails on a yacht, just couldn't hack it under the studio's harsh lighting and was upstaged by the hideous pink shirt with a white collar.

You know, I almost liked this tie. I think something could have been made of it, had it been worn with a different outfit and, perhaps, in a different era.

It's a sad day when Mahendra lets his shirt steal the spotlight from his tie. Lets hope he doesn't make this a habit.

Old school ties

Apologies for a weekend of no TV.

I was attending a school reunion, where in between bunking chapel, sneaking off for a smoke break, and quelling the return of teenage angst by drinking a fair amount of whiskey, I also kept my eye out for any Mahendra-worthy ties.

There was a valiant attempt by a friend of mine, who sported a tie with a geometric design in black, white and green, but it just wasn't loud enough; it simply didn't scream "Mahendra!"

The rest of my contemporaries are as mainstream as they ever were, or at least putting on a jolly good show of it; although many ties were worn, they were uniformly innocuous.

Bring on the news tonight - I need my Mahendra fix!

Who is she and what is she to you

My apologies, or our apologies: No report, no tv on Friday evening. And tonight there's no Mahendra. Instead, someone I think I may have seen reading the ten o'clock news, dressed in what would be a suitable pattern for a housecoat.

Spectacular Mahendra

TM is well informed. Mahendra was wearing one of his more spectacular creations last night. Since it was mentioned…

I am feeling a little uncomfortable in my seat right now. I have a confession to make. This tie, which I think a rather strange tie, which elicited several chuckles from me on the first spotting, is growing on me. I can almost say that I like it but the words don’t roll off my tongue with ease just yet. It however captured my gaze and held it. I feel a bit like a teenager with a crush.

Sharing is caring

Must confess I missed the news last night: was having a post-work kip to counter the effects of a boozy lunch...

However, have had several reports from fellow Mahendra addicts that the man was sporting a truly spectacular tie. Will readers please share their reflections with us by posting comments - I am dying to know more details!

Joanne almost chokes, but not quite...

Joanne was on tonight - haven't seen her for a while. Actually, I lie, I spotted her on Friday, but only ever so briefly, and not particularly worth commenting on...

Tonight she was in a red jacket, and yes, it was definitely red, no puny pomegranate for Joanne.

Her top was black. It was hard to distinguish the cut of its neckline, because the annoyingly large SABC3 logo obscured a great deal of it but, after much peering at the TV screen, it appeared to be a cowl neck. (I am open to correction on this one).

Cowl necks, polo necks, whatever neck it was, none of them work for me. It must be tough being a female newsreader, at least Mahendra gets to wear a tie!

Joanne's outfit was rounded off with a piece of chokeresque neckwear. I say chokeresque, because it didn't quite deserve to be called a choker, not fitting snugly enough.

Sorry, missed the weatherman again. I suspect he is sending much rain to punish me...

Of Sunglasses and Beholders

I was bored with the news last night. It was Tsepiso. Frankly, I can’t remember what she was wearing except for a polo neck, clearly not taking TM’s good advice to heart.

I however could not help thinking about Mahendra when I read this article, for two reasons. Firstly, I’d love to see Mahendra in sunglasses. Does he have one pair only, [Ray Ban? Oakley? Surely not pavement specials?] or is he a serial spec buyer and wearer? Secondly, when reading this blog does he go “…do you genuinely believe that the aesthetic qualities of, say, a dress [make that ‘a tie’] are determined by an onlooker, ie you, probably?” pulling his mouth into that signature ‘smile’ on the eee of probablee.

P.S. If anyone has spotted Mahendra in specs some feedback will be greatly appreciated.

Mahendra - the red peril?

Tonight I sighted Mahendra's new haircut for the first time; it certainly brings out his inner schoolboy, and highlights the naughty twinkle in his eye.

The Raghunath was sporting a dark jarket of indeterminate hue, a white/off-white shirt, and a bold red tie. The tie was printed with white circle-like graphics, which looked like 'tribal swirls', as a fellow Mahendra watcher astutely observed.

Watching the insert about the untimely death of Percy Sonn, I was delighted to see the late Percy also had a fetish for brightly coloured ties. Archival footage showed him wearing one with broad stripes in hues of pink, gold, green and blue. Perhaps he was Mahendra's original style guru?

Normally I put down my pen during the inserts, but they seemed ripe for interpretation tonight. During the piece about the striking workers, I couldn't help but notice the many red banners carried by members of Nehawu.

The workers with red banners. Mahendra with a red tie. Could this be a subtle signal to his many admirers? Will he be running for president on a trade union ticket?

I had to switch off the television before my imagination got the better of me. Apologies to the weatherman: I will make an extra-special note on your attire the next time I tune in...

Mahendra enters succession race

Friday lunchtime news: Mahendra shifts focus from his new schoolboy haircut by wearing his presidential ensemble. That's right: a sensible dark jacket (black or navy, but who knows what the colour-balance settings on the cameras were), a white shirt, and a dark blue tie with a small white motif (or was it gold or grey - see comment on balance settings):



Now those of you who follow national and international news will notice that this kind of ensemble is favoured by presidents infamous and famous all over the world. Both Thabo Mbeki and George Bush have been spotted in similar shades of power. Could Mahendra be holding an ace up his sleeve? Will he run for president of South Africa? What would Sexwale do?

I missed Mahendra

My head was somewhere in the clouds at 7 o'clock this evening, and the rest of my body too, as I was on an aeroplane, homeward bound.

So I missed Mahendra, and also missed him, as it were.

Earlier in the evening, I found myself involuntarily appraising the tie of the driver who was taking me to the airport.

Its knot was disconcertingly modest, and I yearned for Mahendra's bulbous creations. I will refrain from describing this inferior tie in more detail, as I am strongly against product placement(particularly when no one has offered to pay us).

Suffice it to say - the driver's tie competed with Mahendra's in the brightness stakes.

Lunchtime Tintin in light lilac

...or lila as my grandmother used to say. She did not mean the Hindu lila, although it would not have been amiss today as the years fell off Mahendra's face when he read the story about Tintin's 75th birthday. He became visibly excited, his eyes sparkled, and for a moment he looked just like Tintin himself, hairstyle and all. I could (at not too much of a stretch, I might add) even imagine Tintin wearing that diagonally striped red, lila, purple and black tie. And so, when Tembisa asked him if he was a fan he left us with an enthusiastic “OH YES!” from the wings as he ran off. Maybe, if he does not get lost in Tintin's adventures, we will see him tonight for the seven o'clock news, just maybe.

Raspberry Swirl

"He wears nice ties, sometimes," noted an acquaintance of mine earlier today.
"He also has funny ones," she added, which I thought was more on the mark.

I didn't ask her if she meant funny(strange) or funny(haha): Mahendra's ties switch with ease between the two categories, often occupying both simultaneously.

Tonight I found not only his tie, but his entire outfit, 'funny'.

His jacket was a shimmering silver (although perhaps that was just my television; it could have been merely a light grey), and curiously striped. The stripes themselves gave the effect of standing out from the jacket, reminding me of those hologram pictures that were all the rage in the early '90s. I had to keep blinking my eyes to see if they would go away, but they didn't.

I know quilted jackets are in this winter (again) - but an embossed jacket?! I'm not quite sure that Mahendra is on trend with this one.

Then there was the so-not-subtle stitching detail around the buttonhole on his lapel, which I suspect could become a trademark of Mahendra's style. This time it was in black (and when I went up close to the screen, there appeared to be white stitching, around the black stitching, around the buttonhole). It matched his microphone, but did not go at all with the light tone of the jacket.

Mahrendra's shirt was plum-coloured, and the most mundane part of his attire. It only gets one sentence. Or two, or three...

The tie itself? It was a showstopper! My guess is it was chosen in a well-intentioned attempt to match the jacket, the shirt, and the microphone, all at once. I can't swear I remember all the colours (my eyes were bamboozled at the time), but I noted tones of royal purple, grey, black, white, light pink, and maroon.

It looked like raspberry-swirl ice cream, when it is still in the container before you have disturbed its pristine, striped glory.

Sometimes I feel as if Mahendra is teasing us all...

[See also "Goeie Genugtig..."]

The return of the marshmallow woman

Missed Mahendra, but there was enough entertainment tonight without him, although it does seem slightly sacrilegious to say so.

Tsepiso Makwetla was dressed in a most peculiar confection. I know that it's cold at the moment, but I have also realised that no presenter anywhere, ever, no matter the temperature, should resort to wearing a polo-neck jersey. Poor Tsepiso resembled nothing so much as Mr and Mrs Twit, their health declining and their necks descending, as they succumbed to an attack of the dreaded shrinks.

But this wasn't all. On top of her basic black polo neck, Ms Makwetla wore a pink jacket, the hue of which can best be described as 'marshmallow'. If she were six-years-old, yes. If it were summer, and she were wearing a floaty, strappy dress to a garden party, perhaps. But not for the seven o'clock news, no.

PS - I do try to attend only to the most frivolous aspects of the news, but after watching tonight's bulletin, I feel I must add: Brett & Richard, RIP.

Random Mahendra fact

Although my sojourn in the big smoke was all too brief, I did so hope I would have a real live sighting of Mahendra.

No, I didn't spend the weekend hanging out at the SABC studios but, as I walked past Tie Stop in Sandton city, I thought I might be in with a chance.

No Mahendra spotted though, and I had to make do with a vicarious encounter. It transpires that a fellow Mahendra connoisseur, one of my theatre companions on Saturday evening, served the man himself at a restaurant a few years ago...

"What did he eat?" I asked breathlessly.
"I don't know," she replied.

Undaunted, I pressed on with my interrogation.
"Was he wearing a tie?"
"I don't remember," she said. "It was a long time ago."

Surely there was something that would jog her memory?
"Did he leave a good tip?" I ventured.
"Yes, he did," she acknowledged, but that was all she had to say on the matter.

At least we know Mahendra isn't stingy. Perhaps he should put some of his salary towards hiring a new personal shopper?

Tsepiso misses Retro Boat

Tsepiso Makwetla tonight, not the MAN. What a shame.

Our sitting rooms were graced by a jacket coloured somewhere between Pale Dull Orange and Pale Dull Red with a Pale Dull Azure T-shirt. Out of this poked Tsepiso's head reading the news in a pleasant manner. Good to listen to but I had to turn my back on the colour combination that reminded me of the worst kind of retro wall paper. I am not even going to mention the hundreds of little pleats on the front of the T-SHIRT like top that she was wearing. Ladies, no one should read the news in a T-shirt unless you are on M-TV and reading that kind of news...you know. Can we call on Mahendra to intervene, to give a tip or five? I am getting desperate.

P.S. Unfortunately Visibone looses the colours on the link but if you have time on your hands play around with the browns and azures. You will soon get the picture.

The Chicken be back...

and it was red. A red jacket shimmering on all the non-HD sets, a black camisole-like thing underneath and a choker that, erm, was hanging way too limply from her neck and resembled wattle. That was Johandra.

And Graeme no-it's-life-not-coke Richards looking like a schoolbot in white shirt, thin black tie (it's a new thing), and a grey, casual waistcoat. He's got his finger on the pulse of metropolitan fashion this boy, but he still looks shaken by it.

Graeme Mahendra Simon

Last night, Mahendra appeared in a deep-black jacket, a cloudwhite (or is it light blue?) shirt and a tie that needs to be seen to be believed. Half-inch diagonal stripes in red, gold, pink and blue-gold. As Mahendra moved, some of the stripes changed colour! Thus blue-gold, thus the northern lights tie!



'Have a super weekend,' he said, 'Good night.'

'But not good luck,' said AT.

But now, what's going on with Simon Weatherman Gear? In his black jacket a la Mahendra, blue-grey (battleship grey?) shirt and dusty pink tie? He be trying hard, but the man not the Mahendra.

And Graeme Hyperactive Richards? In a fudge shirt and chocolate pullover vest? WTF, as the yoot might say? Fudge and chocolate!?

What *is* the correct way to pack a tie?

My housemate is defiantly watching the eTV news. As I'm due to leave for the airport in 15 minutes and have yet to pack, I'll leave this battle for next week. No doubt my fellow watchers will alert you to any sartorial activity by Mr Raghunath.

Going away, even just for the weekend, has made me ponder Mahendra's packing habits. Do you think he wears Hawaiian ties on vacation? Does he have a special case in which he lovingly rolls them up? I will contemplate these questions in depth as I drink my Bloody Mary on the flight, and post my conclusions upon my return.

Mahendra ruffled?

I flicked to the news just in time to hear Mahendra reading the headlines: '...while protests continued... etc.' I was excited that I had managed to spot him at last, but his tone of voice struck me as unneccessarily gleeful for the subject matter.

Yes, Mahendra was back!

His hair was done in his customary '50s style; his jacket had the usual sheen; his tie was a muted pink (well, truth be told, it was fairly bright in tone, but these things are relative); yet it was his shirt that perturbed me most. Faint salmon stripes that (on my old television set) could easily be mistaken for miniature ruffles, or tucks? Whatever they were, the effect was decidedly odd.

It's snowing here, Live!

I have an 80 000 word thesis to write before the morning, so quickly: The Mahendra was spotted through a light snow (coldfront moving in) in his black jacket, white shirt and a not too obnoxious pink tie. AT, however, is deeply ambivalent about it, and the crimson buttonhole, AT says, clashes a bit with the tie.

AT was also concerned with a certain ashened look to The Raghunath's eyebrows. I couldn't discern it through the snowy set. Perhaps, I mused, he had to contend with Joanne's make-up artist.

The True Confessions of a Crabmommy

The Mahendra Watch Project (an underfunded non-governmental organisation) would like to extend a warm welcome to Crabmommy, who is now sorted with 'Tomu. Crabmommy specializes in 'keepin' it real' where motherhood is concerned, resisting designer-mother consumerism (well, she can't afford it) and telling it like it is. This includes facing the dangers of bears and loons in the wide open spaces of Wyoming, turning motherhood into something David Lynch might want to film.

Here is an extract from her early posts:

A few years ago, my dream was to find a swell and rampantly appealing on all fronts man, mate with him and produce a spawn. All happened. After innumerable misfirings and datings of the wrong sort (alcoholic carpenters and schizophrenic actors always come to mind), I finally met the man on the subway in New York City, went out with him for a year and half, and promptly got knocked up. Even though the baby was unplanned, said swell and rampantly appealing on all fronts man (seriously, the best possible guy) ponied up the support, physical, emotional, financial. We got married: I had a fetching frock; we had a party involving marzipan and cherry blossoms and friends...

Her dream comes true, in other words. Yet, in still other words:

We have it blissfully bloody lucky and obviously I know it. So why am I constructing a blog entirely devoted to bitching? Because it is in my nature to crane my neck during such moments and wonder what is on the other side of the abyss that is new parenthood. The lack of money, time; the plethora of tedious moments that in fact comprise an equal if not bulk portion of motherhood...these lead my mind off in wandering directions, making me eager to dish dirt and get a sour taste in the mouth. All that sticky sweetness, the insufferable candy-floss cloud that collects around moms, moms individually, moms in groups, nobody says anything really outrageous (at least not here where we live, a vale of wealth and health and optimism).

And so we start off on the trials and tribulations of being a crabmommy. Read it and laugh until you weep and schmaak it.

She also now has a column at Cookie Magazine, a mag for moms (and dads), where she continues to rail against the cloying sweetness of mommyhood as propagated by, erm, well, Mommy mags.

Disappointed from Rosebank

After a chance meeting with RK in the French countryside this weekend, my dedication to Mahendra (and, more importantly, his ties) has been renewed.

But alas, the stripey one has not rewarded my commitment.

Instead the news at seven was read by Tsepiso Makwetla. I watched just long enough to catch a glimpse of her bizarre beige camisole and ill-fitting jacket, cheap-looking pendant and gaudy hoop earrings, but had to turn off the television in a fit of pique: why did Mahendra not grace this prodigal blogger with a warm welcome?

Johendra Johandra

Yep, last night it was Joanne again and I felt my melancholic humour (black bile) swell and rise while my other humours (blood, yellow bile, phlegm) shrunk. The funk was come unto me, as the Bible says. Waar sal my hulp vandaan kom?

From AT, naturally. She liked the ensemble, but I thought Joanne was looking suddenly older. Her hair was not as feathery as the night before, and now she looked older. Could she be shape-shifting?

'Yes,' said AT, 'but I still like the jacket.'
'Pumpkin?' I asked.
'No, more like salmon'
'Pumpkin on my TV. Maybe it's your colour settings.'
'No. Must look bloody awful. Changing my colour and hell, yes, it IS orange. Old pumpkin is my vote. Still like the jacket.'

Underneath this pumpkin, she was wearing a black top or t-shirt, and an ephemeral necklace that looked like an executive's toy from the 1980s - you know, all thin, almost invisible wire with gobbets of steel.

And then: 'Something has happened with the weather guys. Even Simon was worthy of a second look last night. Very much Mahendra's style.'

Perhaps there is collective shape-shifting going on at the SABC. Not quite reshuffling, but still. Could Mahendra, in a sly move unbeknownst to his victims, be zapping Johendra and Simondra with special fashion rays, while he shape-shifts into the soberly dressed newsreader we all want?

All of this creates further pressure on Mahendra's Ties to diversify. But how? Subcategories? Different blogs? One blog called Everyone's Ties? Almal Altus? Doesn't quite have the same ring, does it?

But I was already back to being engrossed in Room 207.