Mahendra Schumacher Raghunath

Yes, that's right. As TM pointed out in the previous post, Top Billing last night had an insert on Mahendra's racing talents (Please vote for Mahendra as your favourite insert; the poll is low on the left-hand column on the Top Billing site). Although Mahendra's Ties was not named, the blog received a Shout Out from the Raghunath himself. When Top Billing presenter Tumisho Masha mentioned that there was even a blog documenting his ties, the racing newsreader responded only half-coyly: "I believe so... And I hope they continue to do so."

I believe so! As if to imply that he has 'heard' of the blog and that he does not read it. Mahendra, we know you are an avid reader of this blog!

There I was, getting some supper ready when TM called: "Mahendra's gonna be on Top Billing!"

"What? You can't be serious!" I shouted. But my journalistic instincts kicked in: "How do you know?"

I ask this because I rarely know when what will be on shows like Top Billing. Actually, I don't watch Top Billing. Those damn uitspattige clothes they wear on that show! I mean, really, who dresses like this for their job? Yeah, yeah, they'll say that Top Billing is special, a privilege, all that no-hope New Age good feeling, but really, if you have to dress like that to feel special then there's something wrong... Have you seen those puffy dresses Ursula Stapelfeldt wears?

What I'd really like to know is when Mahendra will read the news; a schedule of his readings will really help my bouts of disappointment when I switch to the News on 3 and find no Raghunath. So, Mahendra, if you're reading this, why not drop us a line with your schedule, which we can advertise on the blog. Even better, drop us a line and we make you a writer on this blog. Then you can tell us what you're wearing and why.

Erm, where was I? Yes, I asked TM how she knew and she said her sister, also an avid Mahendra spotter, was watching Top Billing and called her with the news. I turned on the telly and pressed REC on the VCR. There he was! in his grey jacket and pink tie! Doing a newscast.

But it was a spoof as Top Billing's Tumisho Masha then interrupts him and Mahendra does one of those over-dramatised scary faces they learn you at drama school. Tumi (Mahendra called him Tumi) then says they have to go to the racetrack and the Raghunath does some gangster fingerpointing at the camera, showing off his rebellious schoolboy side: "We're outta here."

Before they dash off to Kyalami, though, they talk some ties and we get a shot of a dressing screen hung full - goddamn! - with Raghunath ties. That is when Tumi mentions Mahendra's tie fetish, calling the man a "national style icon"; there's even a blog dedicated to his ties. I think both Tumi and Mahendy need to read the blog more carefully - as the subtitle indicates, the blog is concerned with his "sartorial vicissitudes". That is, the blog is a sympathetic critique rather than a drunken celebration.

But I digress again.

"What's your favourite tie?" asks Tumi. Mahey picks a red one with bands of understated white paisley (I think). The Raghunath's eyes glaze over as he says how he likes the way the tie "reads" on camera. HYPNOTIC! Believers in Riaan Cruywagen's alien hypnotic abilities should watch this. Just as Mahendra was in pursuit of Nigel Mansell's Kyalami lap record, the Raghunath will soon be the hypnotic newsreader par excellence on South African television.

A friend of mine holds the theory that wearing vertically striped clothing - shirts especially - induces a revolutionary-friendly feeling in others. Perhaps Mahendra's ties do the same and soon we will have revolutionary-friendly feelings spreading across the land. COSATU certainly needs it.

I get ahead of myself.

So, off to Kyalami where Mahendra and Tumi joked around like little boys. And they talked about the Raghunath's interest in motor racing, going back to the days of Ayerton Senna, when our newsreader was still a schoolboy, getting up early in the morning to watch those faraway races.

Mahendra first did some laps in a Formula 3 car, then it was on to the B193, a 1993 Benetton F1, apparently the actual car driven by none other than Michael Scumacher, a well-dressed man when he is not in racing gear.

How can one not like the Raghunath more? So he does a Schumi and, according to Tumi, after four laps Mahendra was very close to beating Nigel Mansell's Kyalami lap record. And, as Tumi and Mahendy walk down pitlane, discussing career choices and whether Mahendra ever wishes to change to racing, the Raghunath once again gets that faraway look in his eyes: "One never knows where the road might end..."

Hypnotic! I tell you.