Nevertheless, modern socialism shall blunt the blade of evil.

Those of you with a penchant for spotting the non sequitur in South African performance poetry will recognise the title of this post: it is by none other than South Africa's de/famed 'People's Poet', Mzwakhe Mbuli. Now what, you will ask, has this got to do with Mahendra? Is it a matter of 'Triple M', a la another Mbuli poem, this time Mansell, Michael, Mzwakhe?

Last night, when TM called me, she reminded me also of the Raghunath's interest in the People's Poet, as discussed in the delightful investigation into Mahendra's fridge by Tashi of Tashitagg fame (and also mentioned in the early days of this blog, I might point out for the benefit of rival Facebook Mahendra groups).

Egads! I thought, I had completely forgotten about Mahendra's thesis on Mbuli (in 2004 still unfinished - is it finished now?). And, zounds! I thought, the Raghunath shares, in addition to Scotch and F1 racing, another of my interests. If the Raghunath will deign to contact us - as he does do with other sites - we will point him to some good, critical sources on Mzwakhe.

Mahendra Schumacher Raghunath

Yes, that's right. As TM pointed out in the previous post, Top Billing last night had an insert on Mahendra's racing talents (Please vote for Mahendra as your favourite insert; the poll is low on the left-hand column on the Top Billing site). Although Mahendra's Ties was not named, the blog received a Shout Out from the Raghunath himself. When Top Billing presenter Tumisho Masha mentioned that there was even a blog documenting his ties, the racing newsreader responded only half-coyly: "I believe so... And I hope they continue to do so."

I believe so! As if to imply that he has 'heard' of the blog and that he does not read it. Mahendra, we know you are an avid reader of this blog!

There I was, getting some supper ready when TM called: "Mahendra's gonna be on Top Billing!"

"What? You can't be serious!" I shouted. But my journalistic instincts kicked in: "How do you know?"

I ask this because I rarely know when what will be on shows like Top Billing. Actually, I don't watch Top Billing. Those damn uitspattige clothes they wear on that show! I mean, really, who dresses like this for their job? Yeah, yeah, they'll say that Top Billing is special, a privilege, all that no-hope New Age good feeling, but really, if you have to dress like that to feel special then there's something wrong... Have you seen those puffy dresses Ursula Stapelfeldt wears?

What I'd really like to know is when Mahendra will read the news; a schedule of his readings will really help my bouts of disappointment when I switch to the News on 3 and find no Raghunath. So, Mahendra, if you're reading this, why not drop us a line with your schedule, which we can advertise on the blog. Even better, drop us a line and we make you a writer on this blog. Then you can tell us what you're wearing and why.

Erm, where was I? Yes, I asked TM how she knew and she said her sister, also an avid Mahendra spotter, was watching Top Billing and called her with the news. I turned on the telly and pressed REC on the VCR. There he was! in his grey jacket and pink tie! Doing a newscast.

But it was a spoof as Top Billing's Tumisho Masha then interrupts him and Mahendra does one of those over-dramatised scary faces they learn you at drama school. Tumi (Mahendra called him Tumi) then says they have to go to the racetrack and the Raghunath does some gangster fingerpointing at the camera, showing off his rebellious schoolboy side: "We're outta here."

Before they dash off to Kyalami, though, they talk some ties and we get a shot of a dressing screen hung full - goddamn! - with Raghunath ties. That is when Tumi mentions Mahendra's tie fetish, calling the man a "national style icon"; there's even a blog dedicated to his ties. I think both Tumi and Mahendy need to read the blog more carefully - as the subtitle indicates, the blog is concerned with his "sartorial vicissitudes". That is, the blog is a sympathetic critique rather than a drunken celebration.

But I digress again.

"What's your favourite tie?" asks Tumi. Mahey picks a red one with bands of understated white paisley (I think). The Raghunath's eyes glaze over as he says how he likes the way the tie "reads" on camera. HYPNOTIC! Believers in Riaan Cruywagen's alien hypnotic abilities should watch this. Just as Mahendra was in pursuit of Nigel Mansell's Kyalami lap record, the Raghunath will soon be the hypnotic newsreader par excellence on South African television.

A friend of mine holds the theory that wearing vertically striped clothing - shirts especially - induces a revolutionary-friendly feeling in others. Perhaps Mahendra's ties do the same and soon we will have revolutionary-friendly feelings spreading across the land. COSATU certainly needs it.

I get ahead of myself.

So, off to Kyalami where Mahendra and Tumi joked around like little boys. And they talked about the Raghunath's interest in motor racing, going back to the days of Ayerton Senna, when our newsreader was still a schoolboy, getting up early in the morning to watch those faraway races.

Mahendra first did some laps in a Formula 3 car, then it was on to the B193, a 1993 Benetton F1, apparently the actual car driven by none other than Michael Scumacher, a well-dressed man when he is not in racing gear.

How can one not like the Raghunath more? So he does a Schumi and, according to Tumi, after four laps Mahendra was very close to beating Nigel Mansell's Kyalami lap record. And, as Tumi and Mahendy walk down pitlane, discussing career choices and whether Mahendra ever wishes to change to racing, the Raghunath once again gets that faraway look in his eyes: "One never knows where the road might end..."

Hypnotic! I tell you.

Mahendra gets top billing!

I don't really watch much television, aside of course for the news. But this evening, just after I'd flicked the set off, I received a phone call from a very excited fellow Mahendra spotter.

"Mahendra's going to be on Top Billing tonight," she said. After phoning various other Mahendra addicts, I had a moment or two to calm down, and there he was, not Mahendra the newsreader, but Mahendra the racer! He truly is a man of many facets.

I'm sure you're all dying to know details, but I think the full posting belongs to RK, the creative genius behind the blog.

For now, a quiz. Is the dominant colour in Mahendra's favourite tie:
a. orange,
b. red,
c. gold, or
d. all of the above?

As a final note, am thrilled that Top Billing has picked up on the Mahendra's Ties phenomenon. But to give credit where credit is due, this is not the first press the blog has received - The Cape S*n entertainment pages ran the story a couple of weeks ago. Will post a copy of the article as soon as I stop being slack and get round to scanning it in.

A spotted Tsepiso

Apologies for lack of recent updates: been out and about this week, which had me landed in bed today with a nasty stomach bug. Just before before seven, I dragged myself from bedroom to lounge, determined to undertake at least one productive action in an otherwise lacklustre day.

I was greeted by Tsepiso, dressed in a lilac jacket with '80s shoulder pads. Her fascination with pastels, in winter nogal, never ceases to amaze me.

Underneath she wore a top, the material of which was densely covered with black-and-white spots. For the life of me I couldn't tell whether it was a black top, with white spots, or a white top, with black spots.

JC presented the weather, his plaid scarf a dead giveaway that another cold front is on its way. Brrr! His tie was a jaunty red, and decorated with white spots, perhaps in homage to the Raghunath?

Mahendra confuses his seasons

I have a suspicion I may miss the news tonight, so let me quickly fill you in on yesterday's broadcast, so no one can accuse me of shirking my duties.

Mahendra was in top form. His red tie was seemingly tame, if fairly bright. But that was before I noticed the little white diamond motifs that graced said tie.

And then I realised: it was a Christmas cracker of a tie. Sorry mate, wrong season...

He wore a white shirt underneath. I couldn't tell if it boasted minute white ruffles (unlikely?) or if the contrast was created by fine off-white stripes. Forgive me, high-definition television hasn't made it to my house yet. In fact, my television is the very definition of extremely low definition, if you know what I mean.

Who is the newsbie?

Tonight, as per usual, I missed the beginning of the news. And what a grave error this turned out to be.

No Mahendra. No Tsepiso. No Joanne.

But instead, there was a bright young thing, cute as a button, and I wondered if perhaps she'd wandered into the news studio by mistake, on her way to a casting for Generations. Obviously highly implausible that Generations would be casting at seven on a Sunday evening, but I can think of no other explanation.

However, because of my general tardiness, I have no idea as to her name. Could any readers possibly enlighten me? Until I know her preferred moniker, I shall simply refer to her as 'the newbie', or rather, 'the newsbie'.

The newsbie was wearing a jacket that seemed a reddish-pink to me, although a fellow Mahendra watcher preferred to describe it as a dark coral. Underneath was an aubergine shirt. I am still undecided as to whether I like the colour combination, but have to give her full marks for a bold beginning to her newsreading career.

The collar of her shirt was somewhat sheepishly hidden beneath her jacket, and I couldn't tell whether this was evidence of a latent shy streak in her personality or was in fact an audacious comment on Tsepiso's collar debacle of last night.

The other question that must be considered is whose place the newsbie has usurped. My money would be on Joanne's, as she has been awfully scarce of late.

I await the bulletins this week with great anticipation. In fact, nothing on the news has interested me quite so much since the last time Mahendra paid homage to the Northern Lights.

PS - Also, I forgot, the newsbie's hair was in corn rows. Very trendy for a newsreader. Perhaps, if we are lucky, she shall change hairstyles as often as the Raghunath changes ties?

Back-to-school blues

In between various weekend engagements, I remembered to flick on the television early Saturday evening. Alas, I was disappointed, for the Raghunath was not reading, and instead I was presented with Ms Makwetla, who seemed to be attempting to revisit her school days.

Her light blue, open-collar shirt sat oddly, as the large collar simply enveloped the jacket (or should I say ' blazer?) that she wore over it. I thought the string of beads she wore was pretty and delicate, but they did nothing to save viewers from the ghastly shirt. Altogether the effect was messy, insecure, and unkempt: Tsepiso would not have received the deportment badge if she'd attended my school.

In my opinion, she'd be advised to follow Mahendra's example, and wear a tie next time she opts for a shirt with a collar.

Butternut soup on the menu again?

Although it's taken me a while to update my readers, I'll have you know last Friday night I managed to catch Mahendra repeating his tie, as he does on occasion.

The repetition had its educational value: previously I had classified this tie as cucurbita moschata, or butternut if you will, but on a friend's television screen, the tie had lost all its vibrancy, and looked but a pale version of its former self.

Considering I caught the news straight after going for a reiki treatment I was very much aware that orange is supposed to be a colour simply bursting with energy, but this particular tie seemed to be draining Mr Raghunath's natural confidence. His face looked wan and sallow, and his elocution was not up to standard, as his tongue tripped over 'the minister of m... m... minerals and energy...'. I am beginning to wonder if he needs work on some of his chakras?

The identity-crisis tie

Only spotted Mahendra briefly last night, as was on my way out...

His tie was a winner though. It featured:
1. broad grey and maroon stripes,
2. a medium-sized gold (his new favourite colour?) stripe, and
3. thin white stripes.

But then there was also a single, lonely, thin white stripe crossing over the other stripes. Check out the picture to see what I mean. All in all, the tie seemed to be making a woefully inadequate attempt at going plaid.

The Egoli of ties

The camera does not do it justice but believe me, this tie blazed a soft gold.

Mahendra Egoli Raghunath

Mahendra was wearing a new tie - a creature I have not spied before. It shone. The knot was proud, big and proud. Egoli came to mind... man... the gold shimmered. Certainly not Isidingo 'The Need'. If the big M needed anything it might have been a little restraint. Tad lavish for the news - I thought I hit on a new wedding channel. I might even venture so far as to speculate that RK's sensibilities, as far as these things are concerned, might have been...well, aroused, if not offended. It was however considerably better than what he wore last night. Good god, I think it was khaki and red. I had instant stywe lippies and fled to the kitchen. The less said the better. Now it is way past my bedtime. Pictures to follow soon.

Sorbet Tsepiso

Scuse the lack of posts recently - the weekend was all about books and balkan beats, with precious little time for TV.

Did manage to catch Tsepiso last night though, dressed in a melon sorbet confection: a light-green jacket and matching top. It also looked like there were two of her, although that was due to my friend's dodgy TV rather than quantity of wine I drank at book launch - I only had one glass, I swear...

Nothing else to report - missed the news tonight as was on deadline. Could any readers enlighten me as to whom was on, and what was their atti(e)re?

Tsepiso caught napping

Irene Bester was the continuity presenter before the news.

I've always wondered where she picked up that hideous Australian accent; am no closer to solving this mystery, but she clearly received the equally hideous ribbed, lime-green, V-neck top and side-parting hairdo in the same bargain lot. Who would've thought Kath & Kim have South African competition?

And what was that large golden disk strung up from her neck? "An attempt at new age bling," was a fellow Mahendra-spotters attemtpt to make sense of it.

Tsepiso was softer tonight. The stern hairpiece of yesterday's broadcast was replaced with a more relaxed effect, and even her eyebrows seemed friendlier. Not quite 'out of bed' hair, but the rest of her appearance hinted that she'd been awoken from an early evening power nap.

Her pastel pink jacket was cut very generously, particularly in the sleeves, which were rather baggy and gave the jacket the air of a pyjama top. And the baby blue top she wore underneath did nothing to dispel the general feeling that she'd been caught in her sleepwear.

Newsreaders of the world: wake up!

A touch too glossy?

Tonight Tsepiso was wearing a grey pinstripe jacket with a masculine cut. I can just tell she's going to be wearing a tie soon: Mahendra's influence is pervasive (and persuasive).

Admittedly, underneath said jacket she was wearing a rather feminine camisole (white lace), so I could be wrong.

Her outfit was completed with a double strand of silver-grey beads, possibly haematite, although I am not that up on my semi-precious stones, so who knows. What I do know, is that she wore matching earrings. Bet you were wondering about that one...

A last reflection for tonight: Tsepiso's lipstick (or was it lip gloss?) struck me as exceedingly shiny. More nightclub than news, I thought. What do you think?

Chronicles of the divided loyalties of a SABC3 newswatcher

My, my, my, but wasn't she radiant tonight. Ms. Makwetla just beamed into my lounge all smiles and bushy-tailed and bright and all. Little technical glitches were side-stepped with aplomb and my dear Tsepiso just kept on smiling and reading, reading and smiling. And she lit up with several more megawatts as she introduced the story of the 2010 countdown clock at OR International - so bright was she that I was surprised that there was no 'outtage'.

Her verve did much to distract me from her sartorial vicissitudes, which continue unabated, much like the continuous cold fronts rolling like mass action across the Cape, or Paris Hilton's long dark and cold prison term. A dark jacket with a tinge of rust was fine and smart, but a necklace with large amber-coloured beads, and a darn blouse that looks like pajamas, with a little string tie... That just didn't do it for me, and while the sparkle of her reporting might be said to rival the Raghunath's, it must be noted that she nervously tugged at a pen by far not as elegant as the one twirled by the latter while saying goodbye.

It is cold. Stay in and stay warm.

The Humbug Returns

Mahendra went humbug tonight in his dark jacket with the crimson buttonhole. If I am correct this is the third appearance of that tie since the inception of this blog. It went beautifully with his black and gold pen (is it a Mont Blanc?) that he caresses so fondly while reading the news.

I had a flashback to his merry goodbye that I forgot to report on on Saturday night. "Have a marvellous weekend", he said. I duly obliged.

Hennin beats an anxious Hanna, or some such

Mahendra in a charcoal grey suit and an Orinoco's superb orchid tie. Was it a white shirt? My memory fails me.

What I do remember is RK saying Fiona Coyne has the weakest wink - just then the news broke that there is an eight hour hostage drama unfolding at some unnamed Long Street Restaurant. Our sources tell us that it may be at Nyoni's Kraal. Looking at the motif on Mahendra's tie, I would not have been surprised if he was on his way there after he read the news. Thank god he was privy to that piece of information. Now to brave the torrential rains and Arctic winds that have been battering Cape Town on our way to our best kept secret.

No dark sarcasm in the classroom...

all in all you're just another thread in the tie. Sorry.

Last night I faced the full majesty of the Aurora Borealis, although differences of opinion exist as to whether it contains red, whether it ever contained red, and why is there an entry with the keyword but a tie with red? We don't have an earlier pic of this, the original, aurora tie, but the first post about the northern lights contains no reference to red.

That is because, dear reader, sometimes it has some red in it, and sometimes it doesn't. That is the nature of the northern lights - it's not the same for everyone...

The chaff and the wheat

Mahendra's Ties has a face: The Mahendra Tie Watch Project. This is the wheat.

There's a second group, the chaff, which has pinched a picture from this blog, with no acknowledgement. I won't link to them.

Fish Truck falls over, Tsepiso of the big beads and welcomes

Well now, what in Mourinho's name are those big fat baby-blue beads doing around Tsepiso's neck. Nee, regtig, man!

And motorists in Cape Town today had to avoid fish on the freeway after a truck full of these pesky pisces overturned.

A warm welcome to readers from all over, from Hana (Maui) to New York, Americana (Brazil) to Kingston (Jamaica) to Calgary, Edmonton and Prince Albert in Canada. Iceland is here (Kopavogur), folks from the Iberian Peninsula, from London to Dublin, Western Europe (Leipzig and Leer in Germany, Amsterdam in the Netherlands), the Scandinavian Peninsula. Upington in the Northern Cape has joined, Perth, Kuala Lumpur, Makati (Japan). Raise your hands and say hello.

A Possy of Newsreaders

Mahendra was in top form last night. But RK told you all about that.

Tonight I sat down in front of the telly a little earlier than usual, De Waal Drive effectively being blocked by a load of fish dumped by a truck not allowing anyone to go anywhere. I spotted some other newsreaders. It was an interesting experience filled with feelings of consternation, amusement, disbelief, admiration and a host of other conflicting emotions. Unfortunately I did not get their names but I thought that I should share with you anyway. See for yourself.

MAHUNGU, SABC 2, presented me with a large gentleman in a jacket with a very small collar, very small on such a large man, and such an array of diagonal and pin stripes my head is still spinning. Unfortunately his hands were hidden by the enormous banner at the bottom of the television so I could not see his cuffs. His counterpart, however, did not need a banner.

IINDABA, SABC 1, was read by a man who is not well represented in this photograph because his tie and jersey were not white, as it appears, but pink! It was a bright pink. I squirmed in my seat. The stripes on the shirt collar were white. I was not sure what to make of that. His cuffs were hidden so far away I had to wonder if the shirt even had sleeves.



Tsepiso (at 7) looked positively radiant from the neck up. Unfortunately she was wearing a bunch of hideous blue/aquamarine/turquoise balls around her neck. I think it was supposed to be a necklace. Someone should relieve Auckland Park of their costume jewellery selection.



And then, at 8.30pm and to my delight I heard Mahendra's voice from the void giving us the news in 60 seconds. He said good bye with such charm and such a radiant smile that it made Cape Town feel a little warmer and I completely forgot about the fish.

Mahendra all the way with the sixth-seeded Serbian, as strike continues

That is correct. (Oh my god, did Mahendra just say 'clamour change' instead of 'climate change'?)

Anyway, back to Mahendra. It wasn't live. AT and I thought we'd be hip and go to the Hipper opening. Two other hip Mahendra Project members were spotted there.

The gallery was, erm, white, very white, and the Hipper stuff uses lots of grey. It was as bright as a summer's day in there. Not quite Mahendra now, is it?

Thank god then for VCRs - Mahendra was on form and 'immaculate' (quoting AT) in navy blue jacket, light blue shirt, another presidential tie (navy, check the pics) and even some cufflinks. This is now the third consecutive appearance of our man in Auckland Park. Could it be that Joanne and Tsepiso are on strike? Are they civil servants?

Mahendra must be applauded, also, for managing himself well over several sibilant seconds during the sports news:


"...the sixth..."


"...seeded..."










"...Serbian,..."


"...Novak Djokovic..."








Was Mahendra ever proud for negotiating that! Indeed, he is one of the few people who still say 'sicksth' and not 'sickth'.

And then it was Good Night, and Good Luck...

The Visual

Butternut soup with cream

What was it about Mahendra's tie tonight? It was, dare I say it, subtle. Well almost.

The tie was a light orange - lets call it butternut - and its stripes were of a different texture, while remaining the same colour. It had the unfortunate tendency of making his shirt appear cream, but then, a dash of cream in butternut soup can be delicious, if fattening.

Mahendra was not the only object of fascination tonight though... During an insert showing Tony Blair, I observed that the British PM's tie was nowhere in sight. The shot was cut off abruptly, just under his chin, and I had to wait until the last few seconds of his interview to catch even a glimpse of his tie. (It could have been red and blue, but don't count on it - this is not a tip for the quiz).

What was up with the dodgy camera work? Did Tony issue the television crew with specific instructions to shield his tie? Is he trying to hide from our scrutiny?

Next up was the erstwhile JC Engelbrecht, dressed in a reddish tie (with a modest knot), a navy sweater, and a plaid scarf jauntily flung over his shoulders. When he announced the third cold front that will be hitting later this week, he won my sympathy for the scarf.

The first ever Mahendra's Ties quiz (apologies)

(My apologies if anyone perhaps had trouble with pop-ups or ads with the previous quiz format. I have deleted the link and will do better research for future automated quizzes.)


Question: Who is wearing this tie?



Answer:
a) Thabo Mbkei
b) Mahendra Raghunath
c) George W. Bush
d) Tony Blair


Note: Answer each question in a separate blue book.

Mahendra's shirts

Suspicions confirmed then. I did entertain the idea that it was my low tech television set that was not doing his tie justice, but clearly the hardware is blameless.

And that contrast collar shirt! I always thought that type of shirt to be the epitome of bad taste and that only 40+ year old men whose fashion sense got stuck in the eighties wore them…oh yes, and middle aged academics. Mahendra clearly being none of the former we will have to take Will’s word for it - Madendra is not insecure.

The tie that died

Shortly before the news, I spotted Graeme Richards, sporting a golden brown waistcoat with matching tie, and a burgundy shirt. Almost dapper, old fellow, but dapper doesn't cut it in today's modern world.

On to the main event: yes, Mahendra was on duty tonight. But what had happened to his tie? The bold stripes of his former ties had disappeared, all but merged into his shirt...

Let me start from the beginning.

Grey suit. Actually, I quite like that grey suit, it's better than his navy one, so no problem there.

Pink shirt. Pink, even pale pink, does seem slightly frivolous for the news, but I was willing to give Mr Raghunath the benefit of the doubt. After all, it takes a guy with a certain amount of confidence to wear a pink shirt.

But pink shirt - with a white collar?! I thought the clothing industry only made blue shirts with white collars, and then merely to meet the sartorial requirements of motivational speakers (or presidents - ed). Heaven knows where Mahendra dredged up this pink specimen.

The tie. It was white, with pale pink stripes and also, pale red stripes. This sad little tie, seemingly designed to be worn when sipping cocktails on a yacht, just couldn't hack it under the studio's harsh lighting and was upstaged by the hideous pink shirt with a white collar.

You know, I almost liked this tie. I think something could have been made of it, had it been worn with a different outfit and, perhaps, in a different era.

It's a sad day when Mahendra lets his shirt steal the spotlight from his tie. Lets hope he doesn't make this a habit.

Old school ties

Apologies for a weekend of no TV.

I was attending a school reunion, where in between bunking chapel, sneaking off for a smoke break, and quelling the return of teenage angst by drinking a fair amount of whiskey, I also kept my eye out for any Mahendra-worthy ties.

There was a valiant attempt by a friend of mine, who sported a tie with a geometric design in black, white and green, but it just wasn't loud enough; it simply didn't scream "Mahendra!"

The rest of my contemporaries are as mainstream as they ever were, or at least putting on a jolly good show of it; although many ties were worn, they were uniformly innocuous.

Bring on the news tonight - I need my Mahendra fix!

Who is she and what is she to you

My apologies, or our apologies: No report, no tv on Friday evening. And tonight there's no Mahendra. Instead, someone I think I may have seen reading the ten o'clock news, dressed in what would be a suitable pattern for a housecoat.