Monday, July 16

Mouthwatering Mahendra

Jammer mense, some of us had been away eating oysters instead of watching Mahendra reporting on people eating oysters. I can now tell you about the French Oyster, Namibian Oyster and Knysna Oyster. None of them should be avoided. ‘Smul Voort’ is die lese, don’t hesitate. And while he was seemingly casual in reading the news about the Knysna Oyster Festival you could tell that the Ragunath was ready to trade his cufflinks for an oyster or two.

Mahendra looked like dessert last night in a Mocha shirt and Chocolate tie, beautifully served in a charcoal grey suit. The full flavour of the Chocolate Spring Roll and Honeycomb Ice Cream (the best damn ice cream I have ever had) RK and I devoured at the Cruise Café returned to me in force. My mouth watered. Mahendra looked delicious.

But going back in time before all this happened - I noticed that our man was not on the Weakest Wink’s panel of celebs last Saturday. My research tells me that he has never participated. What is up with this Fiona? Afraid of being upstaged?

Thursday, July 12

A a stripy affair

Last night Mahendra wore a tie of purple, white, and pink stripes. It was complemented by a pastel pink shirt, and his trusty navy suit. His hair was immaculate as usual - not a strand out of place.

However, I detected a certain hesitancy in his manner during his usual parting quip: "And that's a wrap for the English news [lengthy pause] tonight!"

Am glad the Raghunath managed to end off with that bright "tonight". Who knows if the sun will rise tomorrow, but at least the news on SABC 3 is a certainty, even if we don't know who'll be reading it...

Btw, missed the news on Tuesday night, but heard Mahendra was wearing a shocker of a tie. Please do add a comment if you happened to spot it.

Monday, July 9

Missing that Mahendra magic

Have been watching the news sporadically recently. Nothing seemes to hold my attention: there was Joanne's cleavage on Saturday, and Tsepiso's purple-striped shirt this evening, but I'm missing that Mahendra magic. I wonder when his next outing will be?

A couple of other musings: where, oh where is the newsbie, was she really only temporary? Also, I'm very much looking forward to CM's virgin posting (no pressure).

Friday, July 6

The Mahendra Simulacrum/ Simulacra of Riaan: or, how the machine makes many of us

So, in an idle moment during the news of last night* - i.e. when they show footage and not Mahendra - I switched to Channel 2 and, by god, there was Riaan going all stripy and channelling near-revolutionary waves: charcoal chalk-stripe jacket, white shirt and stripy tie. I identified pink, light blue, powder blue, orange, white and dark grey stripes. It's a tie you wear when you want to be colourful without being uitspattig, gauche. But, overall, the tie gave off a mauve hue. Sinister...

I do think, however, that Mahendra should have a chat with Riaan. I like Riaan's modestly sized knots, the ideal samoosa-knot** of my youth, an equilateral triangle, an equiangular polygon. Welcome to the machine.

Extra special bonus!

I think it's high time we introduce our super new, non-interactive, strike-busting category, in a pitch high enough to send cats running scared: the Moleketi Moment. Last night, our Minister of Public Service and Administration*** whined on about how badly behaved public service strikers have been (the bad apples example raised to general moral outrage) and how this behaviour had been the worst ever in SA history. !

* See TM's entry below.
** See 'Black, Buttermilk, Salmon' for a brief disquisition on the samoosa-knot.
*** I remember a period at university where Public Administration was seen as a soft option, especially by students who would be struggling against academic exclusion because they didn't pass History, Politics and/or Sociology.

Thursday, July 5

Of ties, teaspoons and slide guitar


Tonight the Raghunath was sporting a pale pink shirt, and the very same tie he wore for his Top Billing shoot: pink with criss-crossing purple and white stripes. Shame, perhaps he is nostalgic for his 15 minutes of fame (more like three minutes, really!) on a magazine programme, but don't worry Mahendra, you still have your regular news-watching fans to keep you company (albeit of a virtual kind).

What I really want to know is when he'll wear his favourite red tie. Mahendra, if you're reading this, please humour us and wear it soon!

I am guilty of not always watching until the end of the news, but tonight I was glad I sat through it all, even the sport. The quirky "human interest" insert at the end was about a certain Hannes Coetzee, who has mastered the unlikely art of playing side guitar with a teaspoon. Check it out on Youtube.

This seemed to tickle The Raghunath's fancy, and he left us with the immortal line: "I s'pose you could call it 'spoonerism'". Hmmm, not really, but perhaps I'm just being a linguistic pedant?

Wednesday, July 4

Oh so sombre Mahendra

It was a beautiful day in Cape Town. The sun shone and people went about in t-shirts and shorts. I was in a black mood because I was stuck indoors with the flu. The only thing I had to look forward to to cheer me up was Mahendra.

Alas, it was not to be. He looked suitably sombre in grey and black kicking off the news with the grim Taliep Peterson story. My mood sank. I thought he was going to burst out in tears dragging me along with him.

The news did not get better with no reprieve in the sports section - banning the Springboks (?), Wimbledon (maybe) raining out. Sigh. He managed a smile on bidding us adieu but it was too little too late to save the day.

And then Simon appeared in a white tie, light grey(?) shirt and pitch black jacket. It felt to me like the whole country was crying with me.

The full reach of an icon

Icons, as they grow, typically present with the potential for conspiracy. Notice, for instance, the widespread myths that Riaan Cruywagen is either Chuck Norris, better than Chuck Norris, Norris' father, or (and therefore?) an alien entity.

To nip any such potential nonsense concerning Mahendra in the bud, I here present a list of things completely unconnected to our Mahendra:

1. Dashing as our Mahendra may be (sometimes - see racing pics below), he is not an aggressive right-handed batsmen and wicket-keeper for India. That cricketer is Mahendra Singh Doni, but you can call him 'Mahi' (What's with the hair though?).

2. He is not a film-maker named Balu Mahendra (a.k.a. Benjamin Mahendra).

3. Our Mahendra is definitely not to be confused with Mahendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev (1920-1972), reborn or otherwise. He is therefore not the deceased King of Nepal, known as Mahendra of Nepal, British Field Marshal.

4. We have seen no evidence that our Mahendra is linked to Mahindra & Mahindra Ltd. The latter is part of the Mahindra Group and manufactures cars, available, as you can see, also in South Africa. They are also the sponsors of Mahindra United, a football team in India for which our Mahendra is not a holding midfielder.

I call on all Mahendra watchers to also keep an eye out for any such potential conspiracies and make a note of them through comments on the blog (Note also the variants of the name).

Tuesday, July 3

Miranda's adjectives

Tonight Ms Makwetla was wearing a light gold shirt that was way too shiny. Over it she wore a jacket of a plummy brown tone.

Overall, the effect was dull and uninspired, despite the glitz factor she attempted to introduce with the shirt.

It was left to Miranda Strydom, reporting on the AU summit, to provide me with a laugh, which she did when she mentioned a certain 'gradualistic approach'. Correcting people's grammar is one of my faults (and I do try so hard not to, except in my job, which requires me to do so) but I couldn't help it when a suppressed smile gradualistically rose to my lips.

[Note: People, sartorial vicissitudes seem to be reaching unimaginable proportions on SABC. Did anyone watch Talk with Noeleen? Whassup with Noeleen Maholwana-Sangqu's sense of dress? A black dress with oodles of white o's in various sizes? I think someone should start a subsidiary blog called Oodles of O's with Noeleen. That'll learn them... There's also the issue of her hair. - Ed.]

Monday, July 2

Postscript

So I spotted Mahendra again on Top Billing yesterday, and was struck by two points that had hitherto escaped my attention:

1. Apparently The Raghunath is "co-authouring a book on black African dramatists". In all seriousness, I can't wait to have a read. I wonder when it will be published and, also, who the co-author is?

2. His hair. I must say I found Mahendra's helmut hair after his race much more becoming than the usual '50s do he favours for his newsreading alter ego. I think his stylist needs to expand his repertoire.

And, on the matter of hair, how very fitting that the Raghunath featured on the very same Top Billing episode that also covered the most recent South African revival of the eponymous musical.

Which brings to mind the lyrics of the song, 'My Conviction'; please humour me in quoting most of them verbatim:

I would just like to say that it is my conviction
That longer hair and other flamboyant affectations
Of appearance are nothing more
Than the male's emergence from his drab camoflage
Into the gaudy plumage
Which is the birthright of his sex

There is a peculiar notion that elegant plumage
And fine feathers are not proper for the male
When ac---tually
That is the way things are
In most species


'Flamboyant affectations'?! I'm convinced that Mahendra must have been an ardent Hair fan in his wild student days, and has taken this advice to heart, or rather, to tie.

Where in the world was Joanne?

Joanne clearly has some shifts to make up after her extended vacation, as she was on again tonight.

I wasn't quite sure about the overall affect of her outfit. A blue jacket, fairly standard, but underneath she wore what looked pretty much like a vest. In fact, it looked like the sort of vest that is the top half of thermal underwear. Perhaps she was more adventurous than we supposed, and went to Antarctica for her holiday?

This hypothesis was, however, undermined by her necklace. She wore one of those jobbies that is a simple necklace, but with strings of other beads hanging down from the main circle in strands (I'm sure our jeweller can supply us with a more technical term?). The beads themselves were vaguely circular, and of golden and bronze hue.

Actually, the necklace seemed very Cleopatra. Which begs the question: where Joanne go on holiday? Perhaps a world tour?

Sunday, July 1

The sad meeting of the chandelier and the frumpy

Joanne is back from, my guess, holiday. It must have been a good one since her hair was still dishevelled from the experience.

I think she might have been in Europe since she wore something that resembled a Victorian chandelier around her neck. I suspect not a bad piece of jewellery if accompanied by a simple black number with a plunging neckline in a restaurant where you can order something called Cuisses de Grenouilles, Provençale.

Joanne, however, wore it with a singed orange jacket and a frumpy black shirt. On spying this I felt like a soufflé that had been taken out of the oven too soon.

Don’t get me wrong, the jacket was great. It had a lovely collar and fitted her well. Even on my old television the colour looked good picking up on the highlights in her hair. If only she did not opt for the dreaded costume jewellery.

And where was Mahendra? My guess is eating frog legs somewhere celebrating (or not?) Ferrari's win in France.

Putting you in the picture


"Tumisho Masha interrupts Mahendra and he does one of those over-dramatised scary faces they learn you at drama school." RK









Raghunath does some gangster fingerpointing at the camera, showing off his rebellious schoolboy side:

"Ja, see you lader."











Mahendra on his favourite tie:

"[]...generally I wear it with a blue shirt, or a light, ya know, creamy coloured shirt, and it gives you that very neat professional look."









On the blog:

"[]...somebody is very dedicated...I hope they continue to do so."







Mahendra, looking nearly as handsome as Alonso after a win, on whether he might become a F1 driver:
"It's been exciting, it's been wonderful, it's been a fabulous day...you never know where the road might end."








"[]...the only thing whiter and wider than the painted pole position Mahendra's car took on the grid was the grin it brought to his face." TM (that is Tumi, not our TM)








Hey RK, maybe we can convince Mahendra to petition the SABC to screen F1 again - for us poor fans who do not have DSTV.