Missing that Mahendra magic

Have been watching the news sporadically recently. Nothing seemes to hold my attention: there was Joanne's cleavage on Saturday, and Tsepiso's purple-striped shirt this evening, but I'm missing that Mahendra magic. I wonder when his next outing will be?

A couple of other musings: where, oh where is the newsbie, was she really only temporary? Also, I'm very much looking forward to CM's virgin posting (no pressure).

Miranda's adjectives

Tonight Ms Makwetla was wearing a light gold shirt that was way too shiny. Over it she wore a jacket of a plummy brown tone.

Overall, the effect was dull and uninspired, despite the glitz factor she attempted to introduce with the shirt.

It was left to Miranda Strydom, reporting on the AU summit, to provide me with a laugh, which she did when she mentioned a certain 'gradualistic approach'. Correcting people's grammar is one of my faults (and I do try so hard not to, except in my job, which requires me to do so) but I couldn't help it when a suppressed smile gradualistically rose to my lips.

[Note: People, sartorial vicissitudes seem to be reaching unimaginable proportions on SABC. Did anyone watch Talk with Noeleen? Whassup with Noeleen Maholwana-Sangqu's sense of dress? A black dress with oodles of white o's in various sizes? I think someone should start a subsidiary blog called Oodles of O's with Noeleen. That'll learn them... There's also the issue of her hair. - Ed.]

The sad meeting of the chandelier and the frumpy

Joanne is back from, my guess, holiday. It must have been a good one since her hair was still dishevelled from the experience.

I think she might have been in Europe since she wore something that resembled a Victorian chandelier around her neck. I suspect not a bad piece of jewellery if accompanied by a simple black number with a plunging neckline in a restaurant where you can order something called Cuisses de Grenouilles, Provençale.

Joanne, however, wore it with a singed orange jacket and a frumpy black shirt. On spying this I felt like a soufflé that had been taken out of the oven too soon.

Don’t get me wrong, the jacket was great. It had a lovely collar and fitted her well. Even on my old television the colour looked good picking up on the highlights in her hair. If only she did not opt for the dreaded costume jewellery.

And where was Mahendra? My guess is eating frog legs somewhere celebrating (or not?) Ferrari's win in France.

A spotted Tsepiso

Apologies for lack of recent updates: been out and about this week, which had me landed in bed today with a nasty stomach bug. Just before before seven, I dragged myself from bedroom to lounge, determined to undertake at least one productive action in an otherwise lacklustre day.

I was greeted by Tsepiso, dressed in a lilac jacket with '80s shoulder pads. Her fascination with pastels, in winter nogal, never ceases to amaze me.

Underneath she wore a top, the material of which was densely covered with black-and-white spots. For the life of me I couldn't tell whether it was a black top, with white spots, or a white top, with black spots.

JC presented the weather, his plaid scarf a dead giveaway that another cold front is on its way. Brrr! His tie was a jaunty red, and decorated with white spots, perhaps in homage to the Raghunath?

Who is the newsbie?

Tonight, as per usual, I missed the beginning of the news. And what a grave error this turned out to be.

No Mahendra. No Tsepiso. No Joanne.

But instead, there was a bright young thing, cute as a button, and I wondered if perhaps she'd wandered into the news studio by mistake, on her way to a casting for Generations. Obviously highly implausible that Generations would be casting at seven on a Sunday evening, but I can think of no other explanation.

However, because of my general tardiness, I have no idea as to her name. Could any readers possibly enlighten me? Until I know her preferred moniker, I shall simply refer to her as 'the newbie', or rather, 'the newsbie'.

The newsbie was wearing a jacket that seemed a reddish-pink to me, although a fellow Mahendra watcher preferred to describe it as a dark coral. Underneath was an aubergine shirt. I am still undecided as to whether I like the colour combination, but have to give her full marks for a bold beginning to her newsreading career.

The collar of her shirt was somewhat sheepishly hidden beneath her jacket, and I couldn't tell whether this was evidence of a latent shy streak in her personality or was in fact an audacious comment on Tsepiso's collar debacle of last night.

The other question that must be considered is whose place the newsbie has usurped. My money would be on Joanne's, as she has been awfully scarce of late.

I await the bulletins this week with great anticipation. In fact, nothing on the news has interested me quite so much since the last time Mahendra paid homage to the Northern Lights.

PS - Also, I forgot, the newsbie's hair was in corn rows. Very trendy for a newsreader. Perhaps, if we are lucky, she shall change hairstyles as often as the Raghunath changes ties?

Back-to-school blues

In between various weekend engagements, I remembered to flick on the television early Saturday evening. Alas, I was disappointed, for the Raghunath was not reading, and instead I was presented with Ms Makwetla, who seemed to be attempting to revisit her school days.

Her light blue, open-collar shirt sat oddly, as the large collar simply enveloped the jacket (or should I say ' blazer?) that she wore over it. I thought the string of beads she wore was pretty and delicate, but they did nothing to save viewers from the ghastly shirt. Altogether the effect was messy, insecure, and unkempt: Tsepiso would not have received the deportment badge if she'd attended my school.

In my opinion, she'd be advised to follow Mahendra's example, and wear a tie next time she opts for a shirt with a collar.

Sorbet Tsepiso

Scuse the lack of posts recently - the weekend was all about books and balkan beats, with precious little time for TV.

Did manage to catch Tsepiso last night though, dressed in a melon sorbet confection: a light-green jacket and matching top. It also looked like there were two of her, although that was due to my friend's dodgy TV rather than quantity of wine I drank at book launch - I only had one glass, I swear...

Nothing else to report - missed the news tonight as was on deadline. Could any readers enlighten me as to whom was on, and what was their atti(e)re?

Tsepiso caught napping

Irene Bester was the continuity presenter before the news.

I've always wondered where she picked up that hideous Australian accent; am no closer to solving this mystery, but she clearly received the equally hideous ribbed, lime-green, V-neck top and side-parting hairdo in the same bargain lot. Who would've thought Kath & Kim have South African competition?

And what was that large golden disk strung up from her neck? "An attempt at new age bling," was a fellow Mahendra-spotters attemtpt to make sense of it.

Tsepiso was softer tonight. The stern hairpiece of yesterday's broadcast was replaced with a more relaxed effect, and even her eyebrows seemed friendlier. Not quite 'out of bed' hair, but the rest of her appearance hinted that she'd been awoken from an early evening power nap.

Her pastel pink jacket was cut very generously, particularly in the sleeves, which were rather baggy and gave the jacket the air of a pyjama top. And the baby blue top she wore underneath did nothing to dispel the general feeling that she'd been caught in her sleepwear.

Newsreaders of the world: wake up!

A touch too glossy?

Tonight Tsepiso was wearing a grey pinstripe jacket with a masculine cut. I can just tell she's going to be wearing a tie soon: Mahendra's influence is pervasive (and persuasive).

Admittedly, underneath said jacket she was wearing a rather feminine camisole (white lace), so I could be wrong.

Her outfit was completed with a double strand of silver-grey beads, possibly haematite, although I am not that up on my semi-precious stones, so who knows. What I do know, is that she wore matching earrings. Bet you were wondering about that one...

A last reflection for tonight: Tsepiso's lipstick (or was it lip gloss?) struck me as exceedingly shiny. More nightclub than news, I thought. What do you think?

Chronicles of the divided loyalties of a SABC3 newswatcher

My, my, my, but wasn't she radiant tonight. Ms. Makwetla just beamed into my lounge all smiles and bushy-tailed and bright and all. Little technical glitches were side-stepped with aplomb and my dear Tsepiso just kept on smiling and reading, reading and smiling. And she lit up with several more megawatts as she introduced the story of the 2010 countdown clock at OR International - so bright was she that I was surprised that there was no 'outtage'.

Her verve did much to distract me from her sartorial vicissitudes, which continue unabated, much like the continuous cold fronts rolling like mass action across the Cape, or Paris Hilton's long dark and cold prison term. A dark jacket with a tinge of rust was fine and smart, but a necklace with large amber-coloured beads, and a darn blouse that looks like pajamas, with a little string tie... That just didn't do it for me, and while the sparkle of her reporting might be said to rival the Raghunath's, it must be noted that she nervously tugged at a pen by far not as elegant as the one twirled by the latter while saying goodbye.

It is cold. Stay in and stay warm.

Who is she and what is she to you

My apologies, or our apologies: No report, no tv on Friday evening. And tonight there's no Mahendra. Instead, someone I think I may have seen reading the ten o'clock news, dressed in what would be a suitable pattern for a housecoat.

Joanne almost chokes, but not quite...

Joanne was on tonight - haven't seen her for a while. Actually, I lie, I spotted her on Friday, but only ever so briefly, and not particularly worth commenting on...

Tonight she was in a red jacket, and yes, it was definitely red, no puny pomegranate for Joanne.

Her top was black. It was hard to distinguish the cut of its neckline, because the annoyingly large SABC3 logo obscured a great deal of it but, after much peering at the TV screen, it appeared to be a cowl neck. (I am open to correction on this one).

Cowl necks, polo necks, whatever neck it was, none of them work for me. It must be tough being a female newsreader, at least Mahendra gets to wear a tie!

Joanne's outfit was rounded off with a piece of chokeresque neckwear. I say chokeresque, because it didn't quite deserve to be called a choker, not fitting snugly enough.

Sorry, missed the weatherman again. I suspect he is sending much rain to punish me...

The return of the marshmallow woman

Missed Mahendra, but there was enough entertainment tonight without him, although it does seem slightly sacrilegious to say so.

Tsepiso Makwetla was dressed in a most peculiar confection. I know that it's cold at the moment, but I have also realised that no presenter anywhere, ever, no matter the temperature, should resort to wearing a polo-neck jersey. Poor Tsepiso resembled nothing so much as Mr and Mrs Twit, their health declining and their necks descending, as they succumbed to an attack of the dreaded shrinks.

But this wasn't all. On top of her basic black polo neck, Ms Makwetla wore a pink jacket, the hue of which can best be described as 'marshmallow'. If she were six-years-old, yes. If it were summer, and she were wearing a floaty, strappy dress to a garden party, perhaps. But not for the seven o'clock news, no.

PS - I do try to attend only to the most frivolous aspects of the news, but after watching tonight's bulletin, I feel I must add: Brett & Richard, RIP.

The Chicken be back...

and it was red. A red jacket shimmering on all the non-HD sets, a black camisole-like thing underneath and a choker that, erm, was hanging way too limply from her neck and resembled wattle. That was Johandra.

And Graeme no-it's-life-not-coke Richards looking like a schoolbot in white shirt, thin black tie (it's a new thing), and a grey, casual waistcoat. He's got his finger on the pulse of metropolitan fashion this boy, but he still looks shaken by it.

Disappointed from Rosebank

After a chance meeting with RK in the French countryside this weekend, my dedication to Mahendra (and, more importantly, his ties) has been renewed.

But alas, the stripey one has not rewarded my commitment.

Instead the news at seven was read by Tsepiso Makwetla. I watched just long enough to catch a glimpse of her bizarre beige camisole and ill-fitting jacket, cheap-looking pendant and gaudy hoop earrings, but had to turn off the television in a fit of pique: why did Mahendra not grace this prodigal blogger with a warm welcome?

Johendra Johandra

Yep, last night it was Joanne again and I felt my melancholic humour (black bile) swell and rise while my other humours (blood, yellow bile, phlegm) shrunk. The funk was come unto me, as the Bible says. Waar sal my hulp vandaan kom?

From AT, naturally. She liked the ensemble, but I thought Joanne was looking suddenly older. Her hair was not as feathery as the night before, and now she looked older. Could she be shape-shifting?

'Yes,' said AT, 'but I still like the jacket.'
'Pumpkin?' I asked.
'No, more like salmon'
'Pumpkin on my TV. Maybe it's your colour settings.'
'No. Must look bloody awful. Changing my colour and hell, yes, it IS orange. Old pumpkin is my vote. Still like the jacket.'

Underneath this pumpkin, she was wearing a black top or t-shirt, and an ephemeral necklace that looked like an executive's toy from the 1980s - you know, all thin, almost invisible wire with gobbets of steel.

And then: 'Something has happened with the weather guys. Even Simon was worthy of a second look last night. Very much Mahendra's style.'

Perhaps there is collective shape-shifting going on at the SABC. Not quite reshuffling, but still. Could Mahendra, in a sly move unbeknownst to his victims, be zapping Johendra and Simondra with special fashion rays, while he shape-shifts into the soberly dressed newsreader we all want?

All of this creates further pressure on Mahendra's Ties to diversify. But how? Subcategories? Different blogs? One blog called Everyone's Ties? Almal Altus? Doesn't quite have the same ring, does it?

But I was already back to being engrossed in Room 207.

Of Chickens and Giblets

Bloody fool! A sneak preview of a smart Mahendra, and then he disappears. And then we get Joanne Joseph. I used to like Joanne, particularly before her new haircut. But let's hear what AT has to say about Ms. Joseph:

I am giving up on Joanne. Again a t-shirt under a formal jacket. Does she think she is in Miami Vice? And cramming that necklace into that small neckline? Bad hair. Looks like 'n opgepofde hoender.

There you have it.

News is boring

... especially without Mahendra, the elusive little caracal. And Tsepiso Makwetla, his stand-in, is utterly boring in an off-white gee-up kinda jacket that makes me shiver. It's all so summery, a theme she continues with a white and purple striped shirt underneath that reminds me of sailors. Shiver me timbers. Is it summer up in Gauteng?

Elusive Mahendra makes way for...

a bottle of Revlon Sand Beige base, number 004. Oh, no, sorry, it was Joanne Joseph. Dear Lord, her jacket, her face... the same colour of sandy beige or light mud. Lordy lordy. This takes it too far - make-up and clothes coordinated. And a black blouse or shirt with the same sandy beige stripes. A funky hairstyle with streaks, but that jacket... no no.

The Humbug is back!

So, AT and I fired up the old VCR (yeah yeah, I know, I should be digital by now) for yesterday's news (Thursday), and there was the man himself, not the sweet. Black jacket with crimson buttonhole, amasi-coloured shirt and that humbuggy, gold striped tie.

But it was all Bah! Humbug! tonight as Mahendra withdrew from public scrutiny to make way for the asymmetrical Tsepiso Makwetla, in a jacket that AT and I struggle to name: dark facebrick, sienna, Gino Ginelli or Aylesbury double choc? I dunno. With a powder blue blouse and matching aquamarine earrings. Quite liked the earrings, but, erm, who cares? Give us more Mahendra!